A couple years ago, I found myself in one of the most meaningful relationships I had ever had. Everything seemed perfect. The only problem was that I was very wrapped up in the thought of, “Only he can make me happy and nothing else will.”
Then he broke up with me. I was alone in my room, crying on my bed, and asking myself, “What did I do wrong?” And, “Why couldn’t we work it out?”
The thought of him gone made me so sad, because I felt like I would never find someone like him again. I felt as though the love, compassion, integrity, and humility he expressed brought out the best in me and losing this “piece” of me hurt. I wondered how long it would take to get over him and how much time I would spend being unhappy.
At first I thought I could deal with my broken heart by finding someone else who could fill what seemed like this huge empty space inside me. I was still thinking that love was something that I had to get from another person.
At first I thought I could deal with my broken heart by finding someone else.
However, that day in my Christian Science Sunday School class, we had a discussion about relationships. I decided to open up about everything I was going through. As I went on and on about how upset I was about the breakup, my teacher gently suggested that we look at page 266 in Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy. This part caught my eye: “Friends will betray and enemies will slander, until the lesson is sufficient to exalt you; for ‘man’s extremity is God’s opportunity.’ ” The passage concludes: “Universal Love is the divine way in Christian Science.” While I loved that idea, at first it seemed too easy. How could such a simple thought help me with such a difficult situation? But my Sunday School teacher encouraged me, saying that I could stop trying so hard to fix things, to figure everything out, and just hand my situation over to God—to trust His love and care for me completely and to let God guide me forward.
To me this meant letting go of all the negative emotions and quietly listening for God’s voice. I realized that I had total control over the way I was thinking about the situation, and that instead of going over and over all my hurt feelings and fears, I could actually stop my thoughts from going anywhere but good. I chose to listen only to God’s comforting messages about how loved I am, and how I don’t need a specific person or relationship in my life to feel completely loved. I am loved because God is Love, and All, and there is nothing for me to be but the loved child of God.
In my head I actually said something like, “God, here you go. I will listen for Your voice.”
I am loved because God is Love, and All, and there is nothing for me to be but the loved child of God.
The change was dramatic. As I let go and fully trusted God, this huge weight lifted off my body. It almost felt like a wave of love came over me and washed away all the fear and sadness. Instantly I felt like myself again and happy.
After that, I actually felt at peace about the breakup. I could see how God was leading me in a different direction in my life, and the experiences I’ve had since then have been filled with joy and love.
This wasn’t an easy thing to go through, but because of this healing, I have a new confidence that I can trust God to help me handle any situation and be strong. I’ve finally dug deep enough to realize that God’s love for me is sufficient and that it will always be there.