Lean on ME
The other day, I was leaning against a wall, and I don’t recall having a single doubt or fear about the wall supporting my lean. I had total trust in its ability to uphold me. I didn’t have to prepare myself mentally for resting against it, nor did my leaning require a leap of faith. It was a natural and normal expectation for me to receive the wall’s support.
One definition of lean is: “to rely on or derive support from.” What exactly was I leaning or relying on anyway? Was it a chunk of matter, or something more? Actually, I was trusting in a structure that had been correctly designed according to mathematical, architectural, and construction principles.
A verse from the book of Proverbs reads: “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding” (3:5 ). Leaning on divine Principle and divine Love, God, to support us should be just as natural and normal as leaning against a correctly constructed wall. God’s embrace is at one with and therefore ever-supportive of His own radiant image and likeness, man.
The Preface to Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy states: “To those leaning on the sustaining infinite, to-day is big with blessings” (vii ). What a wonderful thing to lean on—a sustaining force or influence that’s present in any place or situation.
I’ve been making more of an effort to examine how much I am truly leaning on God. When feeling weary, for instance, do I trust and know that God, never-ending Life and Life’s permanent activity, is animating and energizing me continually, without interruption? If tempted to believe in a deception, am I honestly seeking Truth’s powerful presence to remove it? When challenged by the suggestion of resentment or hate, do I know and rely on Love, God—the only real influence—who is holding me steadfast as the patient and selfless image and likeness of Himself?
I’m reminded of a time in my teaching career when the workload seemed to be increasing daily, so much so that it often became a topic of frustration among colleagues. Many of us felt we were being continually asked to do more with less. I found I was being swept into uninspired thought, embracing the very notions I should have defended myself against. More and more heavy thoughts about all I was being asked to do were beginning to pile up in my thinking, creating a sense of being weighed down. I was feeling wearied by self-pity and resentment.
But I sensed that a burdened thought, bogged down with irritation, makes little room to receive ideas being radiated from the light and love of divine Mind. I knew I had to first prepare a place for Mind’s liberating messages to be received. I felt the need to diligently “de-self” the false beliefs that were muddying the clear view of myself and the situation. I worked hard to ferret out those deep-seated suggestions of self-pity presenting themselves in the form of personal opinion and argument. Compassion and patience with myself and my colleagues were certainly OK, but I had to see more clearly that my thinking wasn’t a sympathetic magnet to which complaints and impositions could “stick.”
I worked hard to ferret out those deep-seated suggestions of self-pity.
Sometimes we encounter resistance when attempting to lean more on Spirit. There’s helpful guidance for growth in the book of Hebrews, “Let us lay aside every weight … and let us run with patience the race that is set before us” (12:1 ). There’s an essential prerequisite to our progress in this statement: “lay aside every weight.”
I began to pray about laying aside the “weight” of erroneous thinking. And if I was to advance spiritually, I must “run with patience.” But run where? To higher, holier ground where the high calling of God in Christ Jesus can be heard. To the “secret place of the most High” (Psalms 91:1 ).
In order to keep running with these spiritual ideas, I continued challenging any weights of resentment, frustration, and weariness endeavoring to block my upward path and slow me down. Part of that prayer was knowing, in reality, there could be no opposing power to work against my effort to receive inspiration.
Greater freedom was experienced as my thought leaned Godward. I began to see how self-centered thinking was unable to support my growth and was just extra baggage on my journey. I realized more deeply that it was man’s nature as the expression of Love to “give back” or “reflect,” and unnatural to allow anything selfish or ungodlike to stick in thought.
As I prayed in this way, I felt invigorated and refreshed, knowing my work was now resting more squarely on selfless divine Principle, Love. This new attitude supported a more selfless and inspired work ethic. Any time I felt the downward pull of negativity attempting reentry into consciousness, I “ran” to the security and stability of higher ground, higher thoughts.
A gradual change in thought brought about a gradual change in my experience. The heavy frustrated sense of doing my job was replaced with a lighter and more joyous one. My workload didn’t change; but my perception of it did.
On another occasion, I was experiencing discomfort in my lower back and legs while spending time at our family-owned camp in the Adirondack Mountains. The discomfort was so intense one evening that I felt better sleeping on the floor. My wife lovingly shared something from Psalms, the idea that God would: “comfort me on every side” (71:21 ). Even though I was appreciative of her support, I admit I thought: “Oh, that’s a lovely thought; but you have no idea how painful this is!” This suggestion lingered.
I knew I could lean totally on Love to see me through this challenge.
I awoke several times during the night, shifting positions to “manage” the discomfort while making feeble attempts to pray. In addition, I had been planning to do some much-needed roof work on our camp the next day before returning home, which was several hours away. Suggestions of fear that I’d cause more discomfort by doing the roofing job easily worked their way into thought past what felt like a nonexistent mental defense.
The next morning there had been no progress, and my thoughts eventually went back to the lessons learned about confidence in God, Spirit, while thinking about the “wall-leaning” analogy. I knew I could lean totally on Love to see me through this challenge, too.
I turned wholeheartedly to, and leaned more understandingly on, God, trusting in His continuous, uninterrupted care. It felt so right to experience “the glorious liberty of the children of God” spoken of in Romans (8:21 ). An inspired sense of confidence gripped my wavering thought and held it to the truth that if I, as His beloved child, was free right now, then it could be demonstrated immediately. It felt like the right choice to go forward with the roof work.
With the help of my brother-in-law rigging up some safety ropes, I spent three hours on the roof, experiencing no discomfort in my lower back or legs, even when I was in positions that put stress on those parts of my body. Later in the afternoon, I joined the family on the dock for some fun and water-skiing, which, in the past, was an activity that gave my lower back and legs a strenuous workout. Fear of the discomfort coming back was met with the assurance that I could lean on and feel Spirit’s all-encompassing freedom and support. I was reminded that my true body wasn’t embraced by Spirit as a material structure but as the embodiment or substance of spiritual ideas—which are pure and permanent because they radiate from an unadulterated and enduring source. Fear couldn’t come from a perfect Love (which casts it out) any more than darkness could radiate light! As the image and likeness of Spirit, man must be the Father-Mother’s unwavering reflection. And I experienced nothing but dominion and joy during my water-play and in the ensuing days. I’ve been free from back pain since.
As we joyfully lean more on God, divine Principle, through our spiritual journey, we will feel more of God’s total embrace, His everlasting and solid support.
