Searching for a job–and finding forgiveness

“Mom, Robbie just hit me,” my seven-year-old son Chris complained. Robbie then told me the same story about Chris. “Well,” I said, “it sounds like you both need to forgive each other.” Immediately they turned to each other, said, “I’m sorry!” then ran down the stairs and returned to playing as if nothing had happened.

Young children seem to have a knack for easily forgiving and quickly reestablishing a happy friendship. Unfortunately, that’s not always true for adults. Unkind words, misunderstanding, or unfair treatment, like the weeds in a neglected garden, can take over and turn into resentment, hate, or revenge.

Forgiving these misdeeds can seem like the hardest thing to do—forgiving others and especially forgiving ourselves. But how do we do this when we feel we have been greatly wronged or abused? Human willpower simply is not enough, so how do we lift ourselves from the vicious cycle of ruminating over past hurts?

Jesus’ example, I believe, gives us the answer. Since Jesus believed that he could do nothing of himself but what God gave him the ability to do (see John 5:30 ), it follows that God is the only source of forgiveness and also gives us, as His reflection, the ability to forgive. When we completely release ownership of our fears and hurts, and turn to God in prayer, He opens the way to forgiveness.

I had an experience a number of years ago that illustrates this point. I was in the middle of a job search that was proving unproductive. Although I’d been praying each step of the way, nothing seemed to open up. I remember going into a small café one rainy afternoon, after another fruitless day, and silently asking God—whom I think of as my Father-Mother—what I needed to know. I had a copy of the Christian Science Sentinel in my purse, and as I flipped through it, I came across an article on forgiveness. At first, it seemed totally unrelated to my situation. But something in it struck a chord, and I began to do some soul-searching.

I realized that within my thinking there were some cluttered closets, so to speak, that needed some spring cleaning. I had collected bags of resentment and anger related to actions of an acquaintance, and I felt impelled to finally face them. In fact, that afternoon, I decided to stop my job search and take the time to dig deeper in my understanding of God and how this related to forgiveness.

True relating actually occurs in thought. We relate to each other’s qualities.

In Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount he spoke about forgiveness in this way: “Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath aught against thee; leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift” (Matt. 5:23, 24 ). As I read this, it occurred to me that reconciling my relationship with this person might open the way for me to hear more clearly God’s employment plan for me.

At first I didn’t know where to start. It seemed I no longer had an opportunity to make good on building a new relationship. But then it occurred to me that true relating actually occurs in thought. We relate to each other’s qualities. So, in fact, I had an ongoing relationship with this person and indeed had an opportunity to heal the past.

As I continued to pray, I asked myself, “What is God forgiving? Did He create a sinner or some evil that needs forgiveness?” No. The Bible describes God as the source of all good. It also says that “God is love” (I John 4:8 ). All that He creates is “very good” (Gen. 1:31 ). So it follows that a loving God and His children can only be loving, loved, and lovable. There is nothing in Love’s nature or Love’s reflection that could ever do anything unkind or hateful.

In her book Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, Mary Baker Eddy writes, “Nothing is real and eternal,—nothing is Spirit,—but God and His idea. Evil has no reality. It is neither person, place, nor thing, but is simply a belief, an illusion of material sense” (p. 71 ). And elsewhere she writes, “There was never a moment in which evil was real” (No and Yes, p. 24 ).

I realized there never was a moment when evil and resentment could hurt me or use anyone as a vehicle to harm me. Right when the material senses were seeing someone as offensive, I could recognize that that person could be governed and directed only by God.

I started to bless this person whenever she came to mind, and identified spiritual qualities she expressed. I began to see that no one could ever take any good from me, since all good, all love, came from God.

As I continued in this vein, forgiveness began to replace hurt feelings. This new perspective brought a sense of freedom and empowerment. I was able to let go of feeling that I had been wronged. Finally feeling reconciled to this person, I resumed my job search, and within a week I was offered a job.

But the best was yet to come. About two or three years later, I received a call from the person in question, with whom I had lost contact for many years. She said she had tried several times to find me and out of the blue had finally found my contact information.

When I heard her voice, I was not surprised. I knew it was a result of prayer that she had called. She asked for forgiveness, and I was so grateful to say that there was nothing to forgive. I truly felt the past was all water under the bridge. We now have a warm relationship and keep in regular contact.

God truly gives us the ability to forgive. We are not doing it alone. The words of this poem in the Christian Science Hymnal (Hymn 40 ) sum it up:

“Come, ye disconsolate, where'er ye languish,
Here health and peace are found, Life, Truth, and Love;
Here bring your wounded hearts, here tell your anguish;
Earth has no sorrow but Love can remove” (Thomas Moore and Thomas Hastings).