My mom says she remembers well the Sunday morning when she was out of town and my dad called to tell her I had decided I wasn’t going to church anymore. She said to him, “You mean, ever?” I was 15, immersed in a secular culture at school and also influenced by extended family members who were less than friendly toward Christian Science—which I had been raised in—and so I had decided I was “against” organized religion. I had even written a thoughtful essay in school that explored and explained my views, and on that Sunday morning had handed the essay to my dad. My parents perceived that I had made my decision thoughtfully, not rebelliously, and so allowed me to make my decision on attending church independently from that point forward. 

My youthful journey of exploring and determining what I believed in spiritually took twists and turns along the way. There were years in which I felt that I didn’t at all believe in God or any higher power and had no interest in spirituality. There were other years in which I yearned to know more about life and truth, and so began to read widely about various religions and spiritual beliefs. Occasionally, I would attend church services of different denominations, including Christian Science.

I’m now well into adulthood, and over the past few years I have experienced a Saul-to-Paul type of awakening. It began when I knocked on the door of Truth during quiet and humble moments when I felt certain that there must be a power greater than I. Next, I felt divinely impelled to seek understanding, and I experienced profound moments of spiritual insight accompanied by what felt like divine Love washing me clean. Finally, through facing health issues that included debilitating headaches for which doctors said there was nothing they could do except prescribe pills I didn’t want, I turned back to Christian Science. I worked with a very patient but firm Christian Science practitioner, and it felt like baby steps at first. But after just a few months and a lot of healing, my thought had changed so deeply, and my desire to understand God, Truth, was so strong, that I felt led to take class instruction in Christian Science.

Class instruction taught me how to pray and heal, and was a period in which I drew much closer to God. Divine Mind suddenly became very real and more practically understood. I was finally willing to acknowledge that God had always been governing my life, and I was humbled by—and grateful for—my Father-Mother’s infinite love and care. Returning to studying Christian Science was a rebirth, or a resurrection as defined in Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy: “… a new and higher idea of immortality, or spiritual existence; material belief yielding to spiritual understanding” (p. 593).

During the period of returning to Christian Science, my lifestyle changed entirely. And of course my friends noticed. I’ve found, though, that when my friends ask me about these changes, they are usually more curious and less skeptical than I would have expected, although most would say they don’t believe in God. Perhaps they’re curious because they know that I was so strongly opposed to all things spiritual in the past, or because they see me and my story as atypical of our generation and demographic (young, educated, etc).

However, I can tell that my being open and honest about my understanding of God gives them permission to think or talk about God, too. And I’ve had several friends open up and tell me something like, “You know, there was this one time that I felt something and thought, ‘Maybe there is a God,’ but there’s no space in our culture to talk about it.” In following these types of conversations, several friends have later told me that they were inspired to begin their own spiritual search.

Also like Paul, in following my awakening, my gratitude has motivated me to joyously share the truths I’ve learned of Christian Science: that God is All and God is good, and healing is demonstrable proof of these truths as Christ Jesus illustrated. What this sharing looks like in my daily life is striving to live lovingly, but also not to hide the fact that I am a Christian Scientist, and to tell others what I’ve learned and how I’ve been healed when co-workers or friends tell me about a challenge they’re facing. 

I have also prayed for others when asked. One time, after I told a co-worker about Christian Science, he called and asked me to pray when his wife was delivering their first child at home and labor was not going smoothly. I prayed, and later learned that the birth was harmonious and natural. I was grateful that my co-worker and his wife attributed the harmony of the birth to prayer.

What I take from my own story, as well as the Apostle Paul’s, is that no matter what we think we believe or what we have done or how far away we try to run from God, God is always governing and always present and always loving us. Also, through my experience, I have learned to trust God wholeheartedly and not to fear for the fate of the world, a world which can seem increasingly negative and materialistic. 

I do feel, though, that it is important and necessary—now as much as ever—to be unafraid in sharing our understanding of God and Christian Science, and to be praying for the world. As Mary Baker Eddy states in Science and Health: “Millions of unprejudiced minds—simple seekers for Truth, weary wanderers, athirst in the desert—are waiting and watching for rest and drink. Give them a cup of cold water in Christ’s name, and never fear the consequences” (p. 570).

Trusting that God is leading everyone to truth, praying for humanity, and then sharing truth with a fearless and loving heart when led to do so, I believe are vital among our duties as present-day disciples of Christ.