Article October 5, 2015 Issue

Seeking and finding

Rachel Troutman

My mom says she remembers well the Sunday morning when she was out of town and my dad called to tell her I had decided I wasn’t going to church anymore. She said to him, “You mean, ever?” I was 15, immersed in a secular culture at school and also influenced by extended family members who were less than friendly toward Christian Science—which I had been raised in—and so I had decided I was “against” organized religion. I had even written a thoughtful essay in school that explored and explained my views, and on that Sunday morning had handed the essay to my dad. My parents perceived that I had made my decision thoughtfully, not rebelliously, and so allowed me to make my decision on attending church independently from that point forward. 

My youthful journey of exploring and determining what I believed in spiritually took twists and turns along the way. There were years in which I felt that I didn’t at all believe in God or any higher power and had no interest in spirituality. There were other years in which I yearned to know more about life and truth, and so began to read widely about various religions and spiritual beliefs. Occasionally, I would attend church services of different denominations, including Christian Science.

I’m now well into adulthood, and over the past few years I have experienced a Saul-to-Paul type of awakening. It began when I knocked on the door of Truth during quiet and humble moments when I felt certain that there must be a power greater than I. Next, I felt divinely impelled to seek understanding, and I experienced profound moments of spiritual insight accompanied by what felt like divine Love washing me clean. Finally, through facing health issues that included debilitating headaches for which doctors said there was nothing they could do except prescribe pills I didn’t want, I turned back to Christian Science. I worked with a very patient but firm Christian Science practitioner, and it felt like baby steps at first. But after just a few months and a lot of healing, my thought had changed so deeply, and my desire to understand God, Truth, was so strong, that I felt led to take class instruction in Christian Science.

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