Article March 29, 2010 Issue

My life renewed

Alone and struggling emotionally, the author turns to God and finds that supporting others encourages her to look higher.

BY SYLVIA SAWITSKY

Alone, divorced , financially struggling, enduring sleepless nights, emotionally hurting, and living in a sparsely furnished one bedroom apartment—this pretty much described the wilderness in which I found myself around the time of my Easter break from teaching school. Little did I know what rising, renewal, and blessing lay ahead of me.

I had recently been divorced, and I saw myself as deprived of the three things that supposedly made a woman happy—husband, children, home. At the time, I felt my life had two sweet aspects: my career as a teacher, and my becoming better acquainted with Christian Science, which I'd been studying for a few years. Yet nothing much looked like progress or a blessing to me. I didn't realize the depth of self-pity to which I had fallen. I felt as though I were stuck in a pit, and I wondered, Is God listening to my pleas?

One night, as I sat alone, tears engulfed me, full and running over. I simply asked God where these blessings were for me. There was no response to my questioning. I waited. Silence.

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