My life renewed

Alone and struggling emotionally, the author turns to God and finds that supporting others encourages her to look higher.

Alone, divorced , financially struggling, enduring sleepless nights, emotionally hurting, and living in a sparsely furnished one bedroom apartment—this pretty much described the wilderness in which I found myself around the time of my Easter break from teaching school. Little did I know what rising, renewal, and blessing lay ahead of me.

I had recently been divorced, and I saw myself as deprived of the three things that supposedly made a woman happy—husband, children, home. At the time, I felt my life had two sweet aspects: my career as a teacher, and my becoming better acquainted with Christian Science, which I'd been studying for a few years. Yet nothing much looked like progress or a blessing to me. I didn't realize the depth of self-pity to which I had fallen. I felt as though I were stuck in a pit, and I wondered, Is God listening to my pleas?

One night, as I sat alone, tears engulfed me, full and running over. I simply asked God where these blessings were for me. There was no response to my questioning. I waited. Silence.

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Mary of Magdala
March 29, 2010

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