RELATIONSHIPS August 23, 2004 Issue

Yearning for companionship?

Name removed by request

Alone in my loft room, I let my gaze wander from the rough-hewn rafters above me to the Italian Alps glistening outside in the spring sunshine. The scene was beautiful, but inside I felt empty, lacking. I was attracted to one of the friends with whom I was traveling, and I was yearning to be closer to him.

But as I lay on my bed that afternoon, I started to realize that what I was really seeking was more than a romantic relationship. True, romance is pleasant, fun, exciting. But it can be all those things without being satisfying, and I wanted more than anything to feel satisfied. At some level, I knew there was only one thing that could satisfy the incredibly deep desire I had to feel loved—and that was divine Love, God.

So instead of continuing to daydream about whether this friend loved me, I started thinking about God's love. I felt such reassurance and comfort, realizing that God loved me right then and there. I didn't have to prove to Him how pretty or intelligent or attractive I was to get His attention or secure His approval. Nope, He already knew how perfect I was, because He's the one who made me, after all. And as God's child, I had inherited His brilliance, joy, beauty, and intelligence. I was so happy, realizing that I was deeply loved by God. I stopped feeling restless, stopped longing to seek out this friend's attention and affection.

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