Article December 27, 2010 Issue

Getting 'me' out of the way

BY JOANNE OTTO

BEING A GOOD PERSON is an admirable goal, right? But, as an end in itself, when everything is all about personal effort, it can be quite a frustrating one.

I've certainly seen just how frustrating. A family member had told me that I really should have been more loving to a caller who was having difficulty hearing me over a speaker phone—I should have picked up the receiver. And I could have been more patient with her confusion about the plans we were making.

The rebuke left me bristling with self-justification. It seemed to me like nit-picking. After all, I'm normally a considerate person. And I had scooted closer to the speaker, hadn't I?