Article November 10, 2003 Issue

Beyond comfort food

By Amonda Rose Igoe

NO MATTER HOW MY DAY WAS GOING , good or bad, I usually overate. It started when I was a teenager, around 14. I had many personal and family issues, and eating was the only way I knew how to deal with my loneliness, abandonment, guilt, and fear.

Growing up, I felt very much alone. I didn't even have a relationship with God that I could turn to as a source of comfort. I had been led to believe that God punished His children and made bad things happen. So you can see why I didn't turn to God when I needed Him most.

Later, I started dieting. I cycled through losing weight but then gaining it back. When I could no longer stay on a diet and the emotional pain became very intense, I turned to bingeing and purging, abusing laxatives, and compulsive exercise as a means to control my weight. But the real underlying issue was that I felt so much shame and dislike for myself that I used food as a way of hurting myself more.

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