No formulas in marriage

By Elise L. Moore

WHEN you're in a happy marriage, it's easy to give advice to single people. But to be honest—I was clueless when I was single. I dated so many men, nice guys mind you, that my parents stopped trying to keep up. Although I was striving to be discerning, four engagements later I married a charming man with whom I was very much in love. Almost everyone but us thought it was a bad idea. I'll never forget calling my mom in tears and telling her I thought my marriage was in trouble. She laughed! So much for sympathy.

A divorce can leave one feeling that one's prayers and efforts to listen for God's direction have failed. In addition, it left me feeling that I didn't know what love was. Oh, I knew that God is Love. And I could quote from First Corinthians 13, the chapter on charity, or love: "Love is patient and kind. Love is not envious or boastful. It does not put on airs. It is not rude. It does not insist on its rights. It does not become angry. It is not resentful. It is not happy over injustice, it is only happy with truth. It will bear anything, believe anything, hope for anything, endure anything. Love will never die out" (The Complete Bible: An American Translation, verses 4-8). I strove to live this sacred counsel with everyone.

Love as a quality of God transcends personal attachment. More than physical attraction or a human emotion, it is a spiritual quality. But this was actually the problem for me. It seemed that since God's love is universal, not limited, one should love everyone equally. Mary Baker Eddy writes: "Happiness is spiritual, born of Truth and Love. It is unselfish;therefore it cannot exist alone, but requires all mankind to share it" (Science and Health, p. 57). To me, this was the joy of love, that it wasn't personal or possessive but unselfish and inclusive. Thus my propensity to fall in love somewhat easily.

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