your decisions January 25, 1999 Issue

How do you make big decisions? Do you discuss all the options with family and friends? Make long lists of pros and cons? Research all the ramifications?

While these may be useful steps, they may not bring the clarity necessary to make a confident decision. What's needed is spiritual light.

We hope you'll find that the prayers, spiritual study, and healing experiences authors share in this new column help bring the right choices and truly satisfying decisions to light in your life.

"Your decisions will master you, whichever direction they take." MARY BAKER EDDY

How my friend saved me from suicide

By Laura Matthews

I was once radically in love with a guy who was unable to return my affection in a meaningful way, yet he was happy to string me along and make promises. For months, the relationship hadn't gone the way I hoped it would. I was angry, hurt, and confused, and felt I had nowhere to turn. I felt surrounded by walls of depression and frustration.

One night, while driving home from an unbelievably unsatisfying evening with him during which I felt humiliated in front of our mutual friends, certain that they were all laughing behind my back, I had an intense urge to end my life. I was on a dark rural road late at night in a big car, and the temptation to wrap myself around a tree was not only attractive, but seemed to promise instant gratification. "I'll show all of them," I thought. "Won't they be sorry!"

But I didn't. I couldn't have told you why at the time, but the desire to hurt myself simply left me a few minutes after it came. I drove home safely and went to bed. In the morning, I reviewed the situation and was so relieved that it hadn't turned out differently. Only later did I get the full explanation.

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