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Thunderstruck by Love
I could have been the poster child for Overachievers Anonymous. Our first child was two and a half years old, and I was pregnant with our second. I was working full time, co-conducting services at my Christian Science branch church, weighing a major decision regarding relocation, and my husband was traveling a lot. I wanted to do everything right. I worked hard to fulfill these different roles—emphasis on the “I.” I put the responsibility squarely on my shoulders. But trying so hard to be right and taking on so much brought me to the breaking point. I feared that a single misstep would send everything tumbling down.
My prayer time was between ten at night and midnight. One night, feeling exhausted, I reached out to God. I don’t remember the specifics of how I prayed, but I’d gotten to the low point of berating myself for not knowing how to pray better. (Otherwise, I wouldn’t have all these issues, would I?)
I got a direct response. And it surprised and humbled me.
It was as if an iron hand in a velvet glove came into my thought and swept away the cobwebs of false responsibility, worry, doubt, and anxiety. A comforting wave of assurance rolled over me. I knew I was loved. God approved of me—not because of what I was doing humanly, but because I am His loved child. God understood everything. And all was well.
That was it—that message was a direct hit to the heart of the beast of anxiety. The thunder of the Truth came in with the gentleness of Love. And then I felt a calm joy, and a rested confidence. God loves me! God knows me and approves of me! I simply wept with the relief of it all and ended up laughing. I accepted the fact that I did know how to pray; I did know how to listen to God. I accepted God and God’s love for me. I realized that God and I have a wonderful understanding of one another, and an inseparable relationship!
Each situation I was involved in was resolved in its own time: the baby, the potential move, the church services, and the rest. All was well. All is well. And, as the hymn says, all must be well (Christian Science Hymnal, No. 350, Mary Peters).
Years later I came across this correspondence written by Mary Baker Eddy from the collections of The Mary Baker Eddy Library. It fit this story perfectly: “You are not alone. Love is with you watching tenderly over you by day and night; and this Love will not leave you but will sustain you and remember all thy tears, and will answer thy prayers” (L12888, Letter to Caroline Frame, November 5, 1903, © The Mary Baker Eddy Collection).
So for all you overachievers out there, take heart. Stand back and see God’s work. All is well!
—Kim C. Korinek, Arbor Vitae, Wisconsin, and St. Paul, Minnesota