RELATIONSHIPS March 15, 2004 Issue

'What best promotes your growth'

By Annette Falish

She was my best friend (we'll call her Nancy). And we were a perfect match. With sisters we couldn't relate to, the challenges of raising young sons, and marriages we found less than perfect, we always had plenty of fuel for lively chats. Personal validation was our constant gift to each other as we nodded our heads to whatever the other said. But we also shared a desire to be better, to grow in our own spiritual ways, and to live the good in our lives, which expressed God.

After years of stewing over each other's problems, however, our relationship became a stark contrast of inspired, prayerful sharing, and gritty, harsh complaining. Finally, the complaining began to dominate.

Many times I rationalized that I deserved this one little outlet for my frustrations. But in my heart, I knew that we were diminishing our spiritual light—that loving energy God gives to each of us to shine with. Nancy knew it, too.