Testimony of Healing October 11, 2004 Issue

Depression healed— not just 'managed'

By Andy Hill—Lake Tahoe, California

I WAS LIVING WITH A CLOUD over my head. Every little thing that came up in my life seemed to me to be a major crisis. In 1995, I finally realized that I needed help in overcoming my overwhelmingly negative responses to life's challenges, and I went to see a psychiatrist. He asked me if I felt depressed, and when I answered "yes" he referred me to a depression management workshop.

At the workshop I realized I'd been depressed for most of my life—just a general feeling of gloom and doom. I felt many factors had probably contributed to my mental state—from the condescending and demoralizing attitude of my teachers (my curiosity about life and my constant questioning was a burden to them, and I had been labeled a nuisance and a bad kid), to the constant barrage of bad news that you hear and read about each day. This all led to a pattern of negative thinking about myself and the world around me.

Nevertheless, I also suspected that somewhere along the line I must have made an unconscious decision to be miserable.

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