Article October 28, 2002 Issue

A Stepmother's spiritual journey

By Elizabeth L. Schaefer

I Felt So Out Of Place. I was struggling in my efforts to be a mom to two young teenagers who probably thought I had come from the moon. The truth was I might as well have come from the moon because my new life was so different from what it had been prior to joining the family.

The summer my husband proposed to me, I was working as a wilderness ranger on Colorado's western slope. He was a widower making his home in the East. Since his family was not in a position to move west, I moved east, leaving friends, a job, and a place I dearly loved.

Settling in, I felt out of sync with the family's customs—what I ate, what I wore, the places I liked to visit, my political views. My husband did his best to bridge the gap, but the family and I had competing agendas. As teenagers, the kids wanted to feel more independent. I, on the other hand, wanted to bond with the family.