The quest for God transformed my life

Surviving “Berkeley in the 60s,” a turbulent time of demonstrations and unrest at the University of California, Berkeley, was a lot to ask of a teenager. Enrolled as an undergraduate during the era of the Free Speech Movement and the ensuing anti-Vietnam War protests, I found myself on a quest for calm and order in many facets of my life. With little religion in my upbringing, I had no spiritual foundation to help resolve the challenges confronting me. Everything appeared to be out of order, including my body—I seemed subject to an ongoing, serious physical problem. I had many questions, but no answers.

Some of those unanswered questions had to do with finding meaningful relationships within the context of the “free love” being practiced by so many young people. I also struggled with the pressure to conform to the prevailing allurement of alcohol and drugs, because I felt uncomfortable with this way of socializing.

Initially finding it challenging to succeed with my studies in music, which had been the central core of my life for the previous ten years, I became discouraged and ended up leaving music. I shifted my focus to the medical sciences, but within the first year, I was left unfulfilled and greatly missing the real passion of my life—music. Yet it seemed all but impossible to regain the critical lost years of music study, a profession whose success demands continuous years of dedication and practice. It felt as if my whole life was beginning to unravel.

Christian Science allowed me to feel God’s power—a power much greater than my own—directing me on a new path.

Soon after, I became reacquainted with a man whom I had known for many years. We both saw each other in a new light and fell deeply in love—and we decided to marry. He also greatly supported my desire to resume the study of piano and flute. I was devastated when he suddenly passed away. Engulfed in grief and despair, I knew I had indeed hit bottom!

Throughout this period of confusion, I was also dealing with the physical claim of a malfunctioning thyroid gland—which affected many functions of the body. There appeared to be a connection between how my life had seemed to go awry and this condition. A doctor had told me that I would need medication for the rest of my life to normalize the functions of my body.

With everything falling apart around me, it was here at the darkest point of my young adulthood that I had to choose life or death. Through new friendships, I had found Christian Science, which allowed me to feel God’s power—a power much greater than my own—directing me on a new path. And with God, I chose life!

While visiting a close friend who was supporting me during this time, I began, more and more, to see the light. I felt prompted by God to reconnect with my piano teacher, who had thankfully never given up hope in me. I dove whole­heartedly into my music, practicing several hours a day—developing a life devoted to performing and teaching music. I was able to overcome what seemed to be an impossible roadblock and was readmitted into my university and graduated with highest honors, confirming the fact that it is never too late to do God’s will.

While pursuing graduate studies in music, I bought my first copy of Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy, the Discover­er and Founder of Christian Science, and I could not put it down. In reading the book from cover to cover, I knew I had found the truth. The power of Mrs. Eddy’s words gradually transformed my life. Even though I did not initially under­stand every word of the Christian Science textbook, I recognized that I had found in it the answers to all of life’s challenges. My quest was over! With my newfound inspiration from the study of Christian Science, I started to attend services regularly at a branch Church of Christ, Scientist, and read the weekly Bible Lesson found in the Christian Science Quarterly.

From then on, step by step, Christian Science became the foundation for all aspects of my life. I learned that true love came from God and that real love is rooted in abiding by the Ten Commandments and the Golden Rule. All ensuing human relationships were founded on this unshakeable foundation.

With ever-increasing clarity, I knew that I wanted Christian Science to be my way of life. Christian Science simply made sense to me, providing answers to all my deepest questions. I continued attending branch church services regularly and incorporated the reading of the weekly Bible Lesson into my daily life. Gradually I developed a whole new circle of friends, fellow Christian Scientists on a similar path to mine with shared moral and spiritual values.

The power of Mrs. Eddy’s words gradually transformed my life.

Although many years had passed since the untimely death of my fiancé, I had never been totally free of the grief until after completing Christian Science class instruction. On occasion in the years following his passing, I would find myself disturbed by his death; and after deep study of Christian Science, I saw that these were unreal, material “dying beliefs.” The grief simply vanished once I gained an understanding of Mrs. Eddy’s words in the textbook: “Suffering, sinning, dying beliefs are unreal. When divine Science is universally understood, they will have no power over man, for man is immortal and lives by divine authority” (Science and Health, p. 76). I realized that both of us had always reflected divine Life, and would eternally continue that way. There was no further cause for grief.

As my study came more sharply into focus, there was also no more temptation from the custom of “free love” still so widely accepted and practiced today nor did I ever again feel pressured or uncomfortable refusing alcohol. It completely disappeared from my life. This was not a case of human will. Rather, it was spiritual sense—“a conscious, constant capacity to understand God” (see Science and Health, p. 209)—that prevented even the slightest desire for alcohol. Because of my strong conviction of not needing any substance for socializing, no one ever again questioned me about drinking. And, after completing my education, I have had a very rich career in music intertwined with a deep devotion to Christian Science.

And, oh yes—that thyroid condition that seemed to plague me prior to finding Christian Science was completely overcome. It was while reading Science and Health cover to cover that I stopped taking the prescribed medication. As I read the textbook, all fear melted away, and I have never suffered any ill effects from not taking the pills. As a matter of fact, for over four decades since then, I have lived a very full, active, and energetic life. I realized that God was the only regulator of my being—and that He needed no help from a pill to do His work of controlling my body! I had experienced firsthand Mrs. Eddy’s words: “The fact that Truth overcomes both disease and sin reassures depressed hope. It imparts a healthy stimulus to the body, and regulates the system. It increases or diminishes the action, as the case may require, better than any drug, alterative, or tonic” (Science and Health, p. 420).

As I look back on my journey to finding Christian Science—the steps out of darkness into a life transformed by the light of Truth—the words from a favorite hymn, summarize my journey: