A living faith

Originally appeared on spirituality.com

As I watched the preacher turn away from the television cameras, unable to say why the world had not ended as he was sure God had said it would, compassion flowed through me. Hadn’t there been times when I had given all my faith to what I thought was true, only to find that what I wanted or waited for didn’t happen? Hadn’t people questioned me and my faith? Hadn’t I questioned God? At this point in time, there are people who are asking why God did not do what they were sure He would do and bring about a final day of judgment. Others laugh as if all that religion can be is a joke.

What is there to do when our faith is shaken? I’m finding that prayer which turns to a God who is distant and to a Christ that has not come to us, or faith which holds to a conviction that isn’t allowed to be reconsidered for a higher understanding, misses the mark. Faith like “a grain of mustard seed” (see Matt. 13:31, 32) has strength to move mountains because like a seed it grows, puts out new branches in new directions, becomes a strong presence, and is difficult to eradicate. It doesn’t hold on to a single position and isn’t stagnant. It lets us change, increases our love, and provides a place of rest and shelter beyond ourselves. It doesn’t lose its base, doesn’t withdraw, but proves itself as it continually takes new and larger form.

Recently I was bothered by the state of my relationship with a particular family member. An event had just occurred which left me feeling hurt, and I had decided that prayer was leading me to a particular response. I told my husband about it, and to my surprise he asked, “Am I going to have to fight you on this?” His answer made me consider that maybe my “solution” wasn’t kind and wouldn’t bring me peace, even though I had been quite comfortable in thinking that it was right and justified and that my prayer had led me to it.

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