I’m sure that if I looked in my closet right now, I could pull out at least ten items I no longer need. The funny thing is, they’ve become so fixed in their places in my closet that I walk by them every day without thinking about them. They’re just—there.

Similarly, I’ve been considering the unneeded thoughts, opinions, or even grudges that I might “walk by” each day. Like the items in a closet, these can become so fixed in thought that I might not always be aware of them. Yet, holding on to them serves no helpful purpose.

Not long ago, I had an experience that brought to the surface some of these long-held thoughts. I learned the importance of uncovering and removing them through prayer, and the role this has in healing.

I had been given some incorrect information that affected several of my financial accounts. It took many lengthy phone calls to get everything straightened out, and I became increasingly annoyed that I had to use so much of my time to correct someone else’s mistake. This disturbance led to another, and to another, and before long, unaddressed annoyances—some from years back—began to swarm in my thinking, even after this particular issue had been resolved. 

During this time, I noticed that a small, hard bump had formed underneath one of my eyelids. It wasn’t painful and didn’t affect my vision, so I ignored it. Several weeks later, though, it was still there and becoming increasingly uncomfortable. I’d had many other healings by turning to God, so I decided to pray.

In the chapter on prayer in the Christian Science textbook, Mary Baker Eddy writes, “We should examine ourselves and learn what is the affection and purpose of the heart, for in this way only can we learn what we honestly are” (Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, p. 8).

To me, this self-examination, or checking my thinking, is key to praying. Very often prayer leads me to discover something in my thinking that doesn’t correspond with God, who is Love and Truth. It’s like taking notice of those overlooked closet items, and it’s a first step toward rooting out whatever is unloving or untruthful so I can hear and respond to the divine messages.

I knew that instead of praying just to heal the physical condition, it would be most effective for me to begin with that examination of my thought. While I don’t know whether the bump under my eyelid was related to the current upheaval caused by multiple annoyances, I saw it as an opportunity to uncover and heal whatever thoughts weren’t in line with God.

I had resisted praying about several disturbing instances, past and present, because of self-justification—a stubborn belief that I had a right to feel angry or resentful for some reason. Science and Health says, “In patient obedience to a patient God, let us labor to dissolve with the universal solvent of Love the adamant of error,—self-will, self-justification, and self-love,—which wars against spirituality and is the law of sin and death” (p. 242).

How could I expect to help others without removing resentment from my own thinking?

I looked up adamant and found that one meaning is “an unbreakable or extremely hard substance” (merriam-webster.com). The self-justification I was feeling did seem hard to break through. And in the above quote from Science and Health, use of the word labor implies that doing so might take some work. However, Mrs. Eddy says it is Love, God, that is the solvent. It’s not trying to conjure up a human emotion to break through these negative feelings but a humble yielding to the highest, purest Love.

At first, I tried to reason that there were some good things about the people and situations I was resenting. This helped up to a point, but it became just as easy to also reason the other way, remembering the things that had caused the resentment, which led me right back into self-justification. Mrs. Eddy writes, “For right reasoning there should be but one fact before the thought, namely, spiritual existence” (Science and Health, p. 492).

I had to reason rightly—go deeper, past human reasoning or designations of good and bad to see existence as spiritual. Within this God-governed existence, each of us is an idea of God, never hurting or offending one another but living unselfishly and harmoniously. I actively yielded to that “universal solvent,” praying to see not only myself but everyone embraced and uplifted by divine Love.

I took some time each day to pray specifically and to correct each unkind and unhelpful thought with the truth that Love is the only power at work in my life and the world. And whereas earlier one negative thought had led to another, soon the opposite was happening. With every negative thought that was healed, I felt such freedom that I wanted to heal more! Not only did the current feelings of resentment and self-justification dissolve, but even thoughts I’d “walked by” for so long were brought to the surface and healed.

After a few days of this earnest prayer, I was getting ready for the day one morning and discovered that the hard bump under my eyelid was gone. There was no trace of it and no discomfort, and it has not returned.

I was very grateful for the complete healing I had experienced. But in the weeks that followed, I began to wonder: Did any of this matter on a larger scale? So what, if I held on to thoughts that weren’t completely loving? If I kept them to myself, what was the big deal?

The answer soon came in an almost humorous way. During a Wednesday evening testimony meeting at my branch Church of Christ, Scientist, these words of Christ Jesus were read from the Bible: “Why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye” (Matthew 7:3–5). 

I realized then that healing resentment and self-justification is important, not only for my own sake but as a contribution to collective world thought. How could I expect to help others or to pray for the removal of these errors on a larger scale if I couldn’t start by removing them from my own thinking?

Each healing that occurs in Christian Science has a positive impact on the world. Each expression of spiritual love has the power to break through human will, self-justification, and hatred. Any thoughts we hold on to that are unlike God—from the smallest annoyances to long-held resentments—need to be healed, for ourselves and for the universal good.

Instead of “walking by” errors we may feel accustomed to seeing, we can be alert to them and take an active, spiritual approach in uncovering and dissolving them through divine Love.