Forgiving is easy!

Or so I thought, until I was faced with a couple of difficult conflicts that severely tested me. Actually, I found out, truly following Christ’s command to forgive our neighbors can be a hard thing to do.

Jesus gives us direct instruction on how to handle personal malice in his Sermon on the Mount. He said, “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you” (Matt. 5:44). Here is a divine rule for us to follow and demonstrate, and it has inspired me to learn the power of forgiveness and the blessings it brings.

A number of years ago, I was asked to research a new computer system to be purchased for our branch church’s Christian Science Reading Room. I did the research and made a recommendation. The plan was approved and the equipment was purchased. Soon after it arrived, however, another member objected, and it was decided to return the new system and purchase another.

I knew I would learn to always love, and could completely forgive everyone involved.

I knew the alternate system wouldn’t be able to meet the needed requirements. But worse, I was angry that my efforts were being reversed. My pride was inflamed, and I was ready for a fight! 

But I knew that instead of conflict, the answer was gentle, loving prayer. I recognized that evil’s attempt to cause discord within this group was tempting me to become divisive through personality. So I didn’t discuss the situation with anyone else but turned instead to prayer, or a deep communion with God, divine Love. During this time of prayer I released all sense of personal responsibility in the matter, even to the point of no longer being concerned whether the computer system was used or not. And more important, I released from my consciousness any anger against my fellow church members. 

It was apparent that this conflict was an attempt to disrupt harmonious relationships. It was engendering fear “where no fear was” (Ps. 53:5); the other member seemed to be afraid of new technology, while I was afraid my recommendation would not be accepted! As I prayed to know that “perfect love casteth out fear” (I John 4:18), my consciousness was filled with nothing but pure love for the members, the church, and myself. I was not only able to forgive, but to pour out love and affection.

The results of my prayer were immediate. After I was completely satisfied that all was well, the phone rang and the board chairman asked me to meet with the board and the member to demonstrate the new computer system. The next day I gave the demonstration, answering everyone’s questions and allaying all the fears that came forward. It was as harmonious a meeting as you can imagine. The system was approved, and the member who had initially objected became the one who knew it best. This member even trained others on the new system. It was a quick and complete healing, and I was both amazed and grateful for the experience.

This taught me the importance of seeing through the “personal” aspect of a disagreement when we are seeking to forgive. If a climatic or economic situation caused harm to our well-being, we probably wouldn’t take it personally—and it’s just as important to recognize the impersonality of error when we’re praying to forgive an individual or a group for something they have done to us.

Later, I was part of a firm that built online applications for various companies. During a difficult business project, which included many changes of direction and cost overruns, one of our clients had an irreparable breach with their main business partner. Consequently, the project was halted, and a “blame game” began. It seemed there were some strong feelings at work, and eventually the conflict was turned at us. Our firm was caught in the rift between the two business partners, and soon a lawsuit was filed against us, as the work we had been asked to perform was at the center of the controversy.

I immediately turned to the truths found in Christian Science to uncover the lie against us. As I prayed for a healing solution to the situation, I often wondered, “Why has this happened to us? We were only doing good.” Sometimes we think that if we are doing good all the time, nothing bad will ever happen to us. But it’s important to recognize that the carnal mind—which Mary Baker Eddy identifies as an impersonal, supposed power working against spiritual progress—is totally opposed to good intentions and would try to take a swat at one’s guileless nature to knock it down. It was clear to me that this conflict was a case of the carnal mind, the “great red dragon” (Rev. 12:3), trying to attack the innocence and good intentions of our firm. This destructive suggestion would have us spend years feeling hurt and sorry for ourselves. And although it looked as if self-will and self-righteousness were at the core of the conflict, I knew they were simply decoys trying to distract me from the real culprit. The carnal mind was simply attempting to draw normally good and reputable people into a battle.

Mrs. Eddy often encountered these types of attacks in her own life, and I am deeply grateful for her example. In her description of the woman of the Apocalypse in Science and Health, she describes the warfare between the woman and the “great red dragon” (Science and Health, p. 563). She identifies the Lamb of Love, which includes innocence and purity, and describes how this Lamb-consciousness causes the dragon to lie down or bow completely to the power of the Christ (see p. 567).

My prayer took the form of the Lamb-consciousness, filled with unselfed love and forgiveness for all and enthroning the qualities of innocence and purity. There was no need to fight but only to stay safely and calmly in the “panoply of Love” (Science and Health, p. 571). It was also important to include in my prayers the purity and innocence of my so-called opponents in the conflict.

The quality of self-immolation was also important to understand. I saw I needed to bow in complete surrender and submission to the Christ, giving up any personal feelings about the situation. No matter what the end result was, I knew I would learn to always love, and could completely forgive everyone involved.

I maintained this consciousness of love and well-being for many months, and some time later the client suddenly put a stop to the attack on our business. They dropped the lawsuit, gave an apology, and provided monetary compensation to us. It was a stunning turnaround. Some called it “miraculous.”

Though there was some damage done to our business, these breaches were repaired and our resources returned. But for me, the real lesson was in learning what Jesus’ words on forgiveness really mean and how they can be a sustaining influence on our lives. One may have to wait a long time for material recompense—or even not gain any recompense at all—but the real compensation is in learning to turn to God as the sole judge and rewarder.