I have been playing the flute for six years now. 

One of the lessons that my flute teacher has taught me is that you shouldn’t criticize yourself, but rather you should analyze yourself. By not criticizing myself, I can better focus on how to address the problem and start listening to the all-knowing God. Through prayer and through listening to spiritual sense, I find that God always leads the way to perfecting a difficult measure or phrase in my music. The thought that I most use while praying is the idea of better expressing and reflecting God every moment, in every measure.

Each year, I compete in a minimum of five competitions. In some, my band performs as a whole, and in others I perform as an individual. Sometimes I’ve had to face nerves, overly competitive and aggressive thoughts, issues with memorization/preparation of music, etc. 

I’ve learned that leaning on God brings harmony. Relying fully on Him destroys fear, stress, and sickness. God strengthens and holds us up, cares for us, guides us. His presence surrounds us, and His power is omnipotent. Sometimes, though, it may feel as if we can’t lean on God because we are so fearful, or that there is an opposite power just as strong and present. In reality, though, this isn’t true. God is the only power, and learning to count on Him brings healing and peace.

Earlier this year, I had an individual competition for “Region” (participants have an opportunity to qualify for regional, area, and then state level based on judges’ scores) that my directors required me to participate in. It was set up and judged in a manner that I did not like at all. I have always been very competitive, but over the last year, through prayerful work, my competitive drive had been dramatically reduced to a much healthier and more peaceful level. The atmosphere of this competition seemed aggressive, harsh, and unfair. I just did not feel comfortable being in that environment. But I got a good score, and, because of this, I qualified for “Area.” 

Between these two competitions I took time to pray, and I found an idea in Mary Baker Eddy’s writings that helped me assess my director’s standards and wishes versus my standards and wishes, which I felt God was communicating to me. I was seriously considering dropping from the next competition.  

Mrs. Eddy wrote: “Unity is the essential nature of Christian Science. Its Principle is One, and to demonstrate the divine One, demands oneness of thought and action” (Miscellaneous Writings 1883–1896, p. 264). I prayed to know that there was only one Mind, and that one Mind was all-knowing and all-acting. The answer came to me distinctly not to go any further in the competition, and I knew this was the right decision because I felt peaceful. At first, my director was concerned that I’d dropped out, and although I did not explain too deeply about my prayers, I was open and honest about how I’d come to my decision. After the competition had passed, we had a short conversation where he explained that he understood and respected my decision, but he hoped that I would still continue to participate in the upcoming competitions. I’m grateful that through prayer, I was guided to the correct choice. 

In a different, more recent competition, I had to memorize a solo that I would perform for a judge. The judge would rank my playing, and from there it would be determined if I qualified for the state level. While I was preparing, however, it did not occur to me to pray with a specific issue in mind, because I was no longer heavily influenced by nerves, overly competitive and aggressive thoughts, or memorization issues. Instead, I continued daily studying to better understand Christian Science, God, and Christ Jesus. 

The day of the competition arrived quickly, and although I did not feel one hundred percent ready, I was not nervous, anxious, or flustered. 

Mary Baker Eddy wrote, “Understanding the control which Love held over all, Daniel felt safe in the lions’ den, and Paul proved the viper to be harmless” (Science and Health, p. 514). I knew that Love governed everything in my life, just as in Daniel’s and Paul’s. Therefore, I felt safe, protected, and at ease. At the audition site, all the anxiety, tenseness, and stress that had built up within me over years of competing vanished. While the other students were rehearsing their music, some of them frantically repeating phrases over and over, I was able to help some younger students calm down and relax. Numerous times throughout the day, I was guided by God to do something, say something, or go somewhere that proved to be helpful to others and contribute to a more harmonious environment. I knew these thoughts guiding me were angels, “God’s thoughts passing to man” (Science and Health, p. 581). With each occasion, there were immediate, blissful results.  

For example, there was a freshman flutist who was competing for the first time. Needing my help, she searched everywhere for me but could not find me. At this time, I had been wandering the halls, talking to other students. The idea to go to the judges’ meeting room distinctly occurred to me, and although I had no apparent reason to go, I went. She immediately saw me and asked for my help. 

Later that day, a sophomore flutist, who became extremely nervous while performing, came to me to help calm her nerves. I was so grateful that I knew exactly what to say to her and offered to sit in during her performance. She accepted the offer, and she played beautifully.

When it was my turn, after playing my piece for the judge, I received my score/comment sheet back, and to my utter surprise it said, “Thanks for making music.” I received a top mark and qualified to “State.”

I felt that this outcome was a direct result of relying on God. By allowing thoughts from God to guide me, I realized how natural and right it was for me to play my music well—and to help others involved in the competition. As Science and Health states: “Harmony in man is as real and immortal as in music. Discord is unreal and mortal” (p. 276). I did not have to struggle to convey my music, because I was reflecting God, responding to loving thoughts from Him. I felt divine harmony uniquely expressed through me.