A couple of years ago, with the holiday season approaching, I began to feel that I should be in better physical shape. One evening, I decided to do some exercises. As I did sit-ups, I felt pain in my lower back, but kept going anyway. Soon, I could hardly move, and even getting comfortable enough to sleep that night was impossible. I figured that the pain would subside, but, the next day, it was severe and seemed to get worse every hour.

This was very disturbing to me because I had a full agenda that coming week—mainly Halloween activities with my children, including dressing up in my kangaroo costume and attending holiday get-togethers. Our family had been looking forward to these special events.

As I lay back in a recliner to rest, I realized that I needed to face this situation through prayer in Christian Science. Throughout my life, I'd experienced healing as the result of turning to God's love for healing, so I expected my prayers to be effective.

I took an inventory of my thoughts so I could clear away anything that was unlike God, good. That meant that I mentally kicked out the fear, pain, and any anxiety about whether I would be able to fulfill my commitments to my children that week. It wasn't easy, but I was finally able to face those aggressive thoughts and just listen to God, which I knew would silence the fear. And then, very clearly, two words came to me: "Be grateful!"

I realized that, over the past few months, I hadn't been expressing much gratitude. My husband's new business, though growing steadily, was not yet producing enough income to sustain our family. And I'd been staying home with our two young children, while at the same time searching for work I could do from home. Each search seemed to lead nowhere, and I was becoming discouraged.

But in that moment of prayer in the recliner, rather than wondering why I should be grateful, I just enjoyed a sudden and overwhelming burst of gratitude. And I realized that, more than gratitude for things or circumstances, I was feeling a deep sense of gratitude for God, good, as a very real presence and power in my life.

I began to see that I didn't need to wait for a physical change or a higher household income to feel grateful since goodness had its source in something beyond me. I knew that good originates with God, and He is consistent, always available, and loves unconditionally. These quotes from Science and Health really spoke to me: "God is Love. Can we ask Him to be more?" (P.2). And, "The depth, breadth, height, might, majesty, and glory of infinite Love fill all space. That is enough!" (p. 520). It was clear to me that it was unnecessary to look elsewhere for our family's needs to be met, since God's love gave us everything we needed. In fact, it wouldn't even make sense to ask for more! When I went to bed that night, I smiled as I thought about these spiritual ideas, and I fell asleep still thinking about my prayer.

The next day, the pain was not completely gone, and it was still difficult to move, but I felt renewed based on the change of thought I'd had the previous day. Throughout the day, I continued to quietly express gratitude to God simply for being all the Love, supply, and strength I needed. I was able to do the things I needed to, and no one I encountered that day could tell that there was any problem. Being grateful for God's power and goodness also enabled me to acknowledge how much I appreciated my family. My husband gladly helped with household jobs, and my children sweetly took turns climbing into a chair with me to snuggle or read a book. I saw even more clearly that their love was really a pure expression of the divine Love that supported me continuously.

By the next morning, I was completely free of any back pain and didn't have difficulty moving around. Later that day, I played in the yard with my children and raked lots of leaves (which I found to be better exercise than sit-ups anyway!). That week, as planned, I attended the Halloween parties dressed as a kangaroo with my children and helped other parents with the games and activities. The physical healing was very complete, and none of the pain or limited mobility has ever returned.

That same week, I also had a very clear thought that I should e-mail a publisher that had previously published some of my writing. When I asked if they had any freelance work for me to do, I got an immediate response saying that the company was just starting to look for some writers to work on sections of several books. They selected some assignments that would be perfect for me. I knew these projects had come along as the result of prayer. Even though the large amount of work felt overwhelming at first, I continued to focus on gratitude. Eventually, the writing came easily, and the work was fun. A favorite hymn of mine highlights my prayers at that time:

It was wonderful to see those words in action. More important, any questions I'd had about the nature and purpose of gratitude had also been cleared up. I realized that gratitude was more than just a quick "thank you" to God every once in a while. Instead, it was an essential part of daily life. And gratitude didn't have to be for things, but rather for a deep appreciation in God—a pure understanding that good exists and that we can all partake in a harvest of blessings.

HEIDI KLEINSMITH VAN PATTEN
PETOSKEY, MICHIGAN, US