The van was packed and ready for our trip. The cat-sitter had all the necessary instructions. A new message was in place on the phone answering service. When our two passengers arrived to join us for the two-day drive, we would be on our way. All was well ... except for me!

My friends, my husband, and I were scheduled to attend a Bible study seminar that was to be held on the California coast. I had been looking forward to this week of rest and relaxation for many days. One by one, I had checked the projects off my list—house painting, gardening, and assigning duties to others—as I raced to get it all done before we left. The added responsibility of caring for a member of my family who needed extra attention had seemed to stress me to the max.

During this period, I was suffering from symptoms of kidney malfunction, including extreme pain in my lower back. In times like these, I naturally turn to God for healing. But the trouble had been worsening for several days, despite my consistent prayers. I tried to hold my thought to this line from my handbook for healing, Science and Health: "Whatever guides thought spiritually benefits mind and body" (p. 149).

Although I did not plan to "use" the Bible seminar to find healing, I did expect to gain a deeper spiritual understanding of the Bible during our week of study. Our two passengers became aware of some problem when they recognized that I was not moving freely. As students of Christian Science, they weren't unconcerned about my difficulties; however, instead of merely sympathizing with my plight (what I like to call joining a pity party), they were praying as I was—to realize the perfection of each of us as God's flawless image and likeness. A Christian Scientist understands God as divine Love, and Love never imparts anything but good. We were all expecting healing.

In the evening of the first day of our car trip, I phoned a Christian Science practitioner, crying for help from the intense pain I was feeling. He responded by saying, "It's only animal magnetism!" His tone of voice gave those words just the meaning I needed. While the trouble appeared to be physical, the practitioner saw that I was caught up in an illusory condition that never really belonged to me, and he was challenging that fantasy. Mary Baker Eddy made many references to "animal magnetism" in Science and Health. In a nutshell, it is a humanly conceived attraction to, or fear of, a power besides God.

Well, I knew that I really couldn't be attracted to pain. This insight quieted my despair as I considered the meaning of the practitioner's other strong word, only. I saw that I'd recently been taken in by a bunch of thoughts that were not coming to me from God, Spirit. Among those suggestions were: Had I been poisoned? Had I been careless? I recalled reading labels warning about the possible toxic effects of misusing fungicide paint and garden insecticide.

Another belief that I needed to challenge was that I was probably too old to be going up and down a ladder in performing the tedious task of painting. Also, had I done too much heavy lifting while caring for my loved family member? And all that driving to the seminar site didn't help the situation, did it?

During the night, I thought about why these thoughts were only animal magnetism—because their origin was only in the human mind. I'd been believing that all this activity was my personal burden. Where was God in this picture? I thought. Or, better still, where was any of this in God's picture of me?

Then I recalled that "in him [God] we live, and move, and have our being" (Acts 17:28). The practitioner's prayer was stirring my thinking to rid me of all those human opinions and speculations, and guiding me to approach God with a deeper humility and trust in His infinite goodness. In Christian Science we perceive that God's man—including me—is wholly spiritual, not material.

Sometimes it seems that pain forces one nearer to God. Not that God causes us to suffer, but pain can give one an intense desire to get closer to Him. By morning, I was still unable to eliminate any liquid, so I called the Christian Science practitioner a second time. He gave me another idea to ponder: "Nothing can impede your progress." Literally, this meant to me that I could finish the trip. It also meant that I was progressing out of the strictures of the condition, despite the contrary physical evidence. When we arrived at the conference grounds, I was unable to stand in the registration line, and once in my room, I lay in bed exhausted.

The next morning, I could not rouse myself to eat or attend the first session. At noon, my friends came to my room, where my husband was praying for me. They joined him in prayer. Their words alerted me to realize I was still dreaming—asleep to the truth of my spiritual existence. By the time they left for the afternoon session, I was in distress but awake enough to call the practitioner again. He spoke calmly with a third important statement: "God is responsible for maintaining His own ideas, and you are one of them." This truth that my spiritual identity was perfect and unchanging brought about immediate physical change.

In the time it took to rush to the bathroom, I was free of the pain, and normal elimination was restored. I felt refreshed, joyous, newly alive. I dressed quickly and almost flew down the path to the chapel, ready to join my husband and friends for the afternoon session.

What had happened? Was it a miracle? It certainly seemed so, but really the healing was quite natural. It was God's grace, the presence of the Christ, that changed the way I thought and then how I felt and functioned. Grace, to me, is the conscious realization that we really do live, move, and have our being in God. And Bible study helps deepen my understanding of God as "a very present help in trouble" (Ps. 46:1).

Now, six years later, I've just returned from another session of the Bible study seminar. The joy and gratitude I feel for this wonderful healing continue to stir me to deepen my understanding of the remarkable treasures in the Bible, and of God's promise of blessing for all of His creation. And now I know even more clearly that my life is not up for grabs, that no personal sense of responsibility can attach itself to me or mine, and that there is no impediment to my spiritual progress. God is responsible for causing each of His precious children to shine with the sweet nature of Christ.

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