In the 1980s, when my daughter was just 16, she took her own life. For years following that traumatic event, I spent countless hours worrying about the safety of my only son. Every time I would hear an ambulance or a siren, or if I did not hear from him, I would begin to play the old record in my head titled "Fear," and the lyrics shouted impending doom and gloom. The more I tried to silence these fears, the more I could see that fear was ruling my life.

Several years after my daughter's suicide, I had a wonderful healing experience. Through reading and studying Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy, I was healed of grief over the loss of my daughter. Now, because of the fear and anxiety about my son's safety, my peace and sense of well-being were in jeopardy; I knew the relief I sought could only be found through prayer.

I turned to one of my favorite Bible stories for inspiration. The story is about three Hebrews who were thrown into a fiery furnance for worshiping their God instead of the king, Nebuchadnezzar (see Daniel, chapter 3). In spite of what the obvious consequences of their refusal to worship anyone or anything other than the one God would be—namely, their death in the furnace—the Bible shows Shadrach, Meshach, and Abenego trusting the power of God's love for them, even in the midst of the fire. The story tells us that not only were they protected from the flames, but even the smell of fire was not on them.

Unlike Shadrach, Meshach, and Abenego, I had been bowing down to fear rather than to an all-powerful, all-loving God. Then I remembered a verse in Isaiah my grandfather had me memorize when I was a child. It helped me whenever I was afraid. It says, "Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness" (41:10).

I reasoned from this comforting concept that God was telling me not to be fearful. And knowing this helped me keep my thought in the present, rather than worrying about some future disaster. Mary Baker Eddy made this reference to fear in the Glossary of Science and Health, showing that, in spiritual terms, fear is manifested as "heat; inflammation ... caution" (p. 586).

Then I asked myself, "Am I entertaining thoughts of just how inflamed my past has been?" It seemed I was always voicing caution and warning, which only kept me focused on the possibility of some terrible thing happening. Life for me seemed based on a future disaster. This made enjoying the present impossible. Well, I thought, how ridiculous to think that the tragedy of my daughter's death in the past could predict my future or my son's. And I realized that fear could not close my eyes to God's love and protection available right at that moment.

Just as King Nebuchadnezzar's eyes were opened to see a fourth image, "like the son of God," walking in the fire with Shadrach, Meshach, and Abenego, so my eyes opened to the truth that God is always available and never takes us half way. I could see divine Love was in control, and that therefore nothing could be taken from me. Turning away from fearful and imaginary suggestions of what might happen to me or my son, and awakening to the understanding of God's ever-pre-sent love, restored my inner peace.

Now when fear tries to creep in, I realize I no longer have to waste time thinking about the "what if's." Instead, I rely on what I know to be true right this moment—that God is here and now, loving and caring for each of His children. What a wonderful feeling of freedom to feel safe in the arms of God's love.

Kristin Christensen
Spearfish, South Dakota