Having survived the raising of five teenagers in my own home, I welcome the publication this month of Mimi Doe's Nurturing Your Teenager's Soul (Perigree Trade Paperback Original). I really could have used it 20 years ago.

Doe, author of three previous books and hundreds of parenting columns, and a mother of two teenagers, is all about straight talk. She tells it how she sees it and leaves parents and guardians to draw their own conclusions and make their own adaptations.

She acknowledges that overwhelming pressures assail young people today—among them, peer influences, the hazards of substance abuse and sexual activity, the risks and freedoms of driving and dating, and the pressure to succeed in school and get into a good college. And parents try to help by advising, warning, solving homework problems, turning over their car keys, waiting up into the wee hours, and touring multiple college campuses to find the right one.

However, Doe suggests that if parents get too preoccupied in those ways, they may miss the "core component" for helping their teenagers develop into healthy and competent adults—"nurturing their spirituality."

Her reasons?

"All teens are spiritual beings. Despite increased contact with a world that often tells them otherwise, their nature is divine. They crave a connection to something greater than themselves while questioning the adults with whom they live."

Doe also says that teenagers desperately want to maintain an open, loving relationship with their parents, even when it appears that they are pushing them away.

She has observed that adolescence is a time when young people experience a spiritual hunger that is often misunderstood as restlessness, frustration, or anger. When distracted teens and their parents acknowledge this "ripe, sacred yearning," the teen years can be seen as a time of possibilities and expansion.

"It's never easy," Doe admitted in a recent chat with me. "My husband, Tom, and I don't know all the answers. We just take it moment by moment. We still have some miles to go before we graduate as parents."

This 296-page paperback builds on the ideas in an earlier Doe book, 10 Principles for Spiritual Parenting. It applies those principles to the teen years, with strong emphasis on such areas as listening fully and connecting with young people, and on negotiating the balance between being a pal and a parent. There are chapters under such headings as "Be What You Want to See," "Remain Flexibly Firm," "Let Go and Trust," and "Each Day Offers Renewal"—which carry unmistakable messages, even simply as titles.

Doe draws on the wisdom of famous people to spice her pages, presents mini case-histories to anchor her recommendations, and shares bytes from dozens of teenagers and parents she's interviewed over the years. She also highlights the role of humor in strengthening family ties. She calls this "silly magic."

And how has Doe done as a parent? I couldn't resist asking her daughters Elizabeth (14) and Whitney (17) for their comments. I wasn't totally surprised when they wryly admitted they didn't have a clue what "the principles" were, though they certainly enjoyed the benefits.

"Mom nurtures my soul by being an active part of my life, without being pushy," said Elizabeth. "She's a loving part in my life, without being clingy. She knows when to leave us alone to mull over our problems independently."

Whitney agreed. "Mom and Dad really get it. They know it's not easy being a teenager, and don't force us into things. My friends notice this. Sometimes they come over and just hang out with my mom."

For those people who feel they are not managing as well as Doe seems to be doing with her kids, she offers this message: "It's never too late to uncover new ways to be in a relationship with your son or daughter so that you each might experience more joy and a deeper, more magnificent connection with one another and with God."

And that's a message, I'd suggest, that goes way beyond adolescence and into every corner of life.