My PARENTS DIVORCED when I was in grade school. It was a messy, bitter breakup that left me feeling insecure and wanting to avoid change. My mother monitored our phone calls. She only allowed us to talk to our dad for five minutes a night, and when the timer went off, we had to end our conversation. Once, when I was home alone, I called my dad. The phone rang 232 times. When he finally picked up, I closed my eyes in relief. I always felt better when I could hear his voice.

We were finally allowed to go live with our dad, where for the first time in a long while I felt safe. I had little contact with my mother from then on. When there was communication, however, it was always turbulent. I also started going to a Christian Science Sunday School, where God, and my relationship with Him, began to become clear to me. It was there that I learned I never really lacked anything by not having a mother. I was learning that God was and is my Mother and my Father.

When I began to start dating years later, a pattern emerged—I continually picked men who were emotionally unavailable. They were often mentally abusive and liked to play games or try to manipulate me, something I wouldn't realize was happening until I was sucked in and emotionally attached.

Several years ago, I ended a serious relationship with a man who I had believed was different from the rest. I was heartbroken. At that point in my life, l'd reached rock bottom. I felt empty and alone. I ached from the depths to have someone to turn to, to console and comfort me.

The only thing that brought me peace was reading the Bible and Science and Health. I remember feeling such comfort reading these words of Jesus: "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest" (Matt. 11:28). What Jesus taught about the love of God brought me comfort. It helped ease my loneliness and the deep longing to be in a relationship. I made a conscious choice to determine what it was I needed to learn spiritually—and grow from learning it.

My mother also started calling not long after the relationship ended. It was not unusual for her to go months without calling and then, for whatever reason, to start making torturous and harassing phone calls. Perhaps it took my hearing her voice at this time to make it clear to me that I had been picking relationship with men that were similar to the one I had with her.

I decided to ask for the prayer of a Christian Science practitioner. He suggested that I should read what Science and Health says about God as the one divine Mind. It was his suggestion that I substitute the word Mind with relationship in a particular passage beginning, "What is Mind?" on page 469. "There is only one relationship," I remember him saying. Yet, how could there be only one relationship when it seemed that I was dealing with so many? Then it came to me that there was only one God and that my link to Him was at the center of every other human relationship. This helped put everything into perspective.

As I continued to better understand my relationship with God, it was apparent to me that this was the one that really needed my attention. I prayed for guidance, and the thought came: "I am always with you and love you. I will never leave you. You are worthy of being loved." That helped wash away the fear that my mother, or anyone could harm me emotionally anymore.

I also began to realize that I didn't need a man to make me feel complete. I was coming to see that each child of God is whole and already complete. Though I am still open to the idea of marrying someday and having a companion to complement me, I am no longer focused on getting a husband and family or order to feel complete. I am already complete and belong to a family, a universal one.

My mother still calls on occasion. What's different today is I now know I do not need to react. What's changed is the way I see myself. And others. I realize now that I was never alone. I was already in the perfect relationship.

Our efforts to find God never leave us where they found us. What blesses one blessed everyone. And we are all worthy of being loved.