My husband had left me, I was recovering from the effects of an accident, I was still in a wheelchair, and I had just learned I would not be eligible for disability unless I conceded it would take at least a year to recover from my injuries. (This was an admission I did not want to make, as I expected complete freedom long before a year would pass.)

My dear mother had lovingly agreed to move in with me to aid in my full recovery. On the day she arrived, I glanced down at a box of her packed canned goods in the middle of the kitchen floor. On top of them, a bottle of pancake syrup was turned on its side and had leaked out onto the canned goods. What a sticky mess! I didn't know whether to laugh or to cry, but before I knew it, I had dissolved into a puddle of tears and was completely enveloped in self-pity. Life just didn't seem worth living as I kept crying out to God, "Why me, why now?!" I suppose I was echoing Job's thought when he cried out, "Oh that my grief were throughly weighed, and my calamity laid in the balances together!" (Job 6:2).

I can look back on it now and laugh. But at the time, I felt God had deserted me. Many times since then, God has shown me just how much He truly does love me—and everyone. I've seen that whatever the circumstances, He is constantly watching over, caring for, and loving us.

During those next few months, I had a lot of soul searching to do and much resentment to drop. I found it hard to believe that my husband could have left me in such dire circumstances. But a dear friend pointed out to me that the only thing the three Hebrew boys, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, lost in the fiery furnace was that which had bound them. Why, they were even able to come out of that experience without so much as the smell of smoke on them (see Dan., chap. 3). I was determined to come out of this experience without the smell of smoke (the belief that I had been separated from God for even an instant) upon me either. I knew that in order to do that, I would have to give up any and all resentment, condemnation, and self-pity. I had my work cut out for me.

Step by step, and with the patient help of different Christian Science practitioners at various times, I was able to quit "adding fuel to the fire" by feeling so sorry for myself. I began to be grateful for even the smallest signs of love and mobility. Friends brought us cooked meals, did our grocery shopping, and offered to take us to church. I began to feel God's loving presence with me once again, and that enabled me to begin to see through the lie of accident, injury, confusion, and abandonment. I came to grips with the belief that man can ever be caught off balance, flung aside, neglected, or deprived of anything good. I earnestly put my hand in the Father's and said, "All right, Father, what lessons are here for me to learn in order to be able to glorify You and to live as Your image and likeness?"

I started with the first chapter in Genesis, which says that "God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good" (Gen. 1:31). God, being infinite Spirit, never made a material man or a material condition that one must break free from. I knew my part would be to awake to the spiritual facts of being and not to be deceived by what the material senses were telling me.

A testimony published in the very first issue of the Christian Science Sentinel in 1898 was a great source of inspiration to me. A little girl, five years old, survived a three-story fall onto a concrete sidewalk. Some weeks later when her three-year-old sister asked her, "You did fall out of the window, didn't you?" she replied, "My body fell, but I am not in my body. Can God's child fall?" And the younger sister said, "No, because God is good." The first time I read that testimony, I wept. That little child's pure and immediate acceptance of God's love for her, and her complete abandonment of fear, stay with me to this day.

Mary Baker Eddy states: "The last act of the tragedy on Calvary rent the veil of matter, and unveiled Love's great legacy to mortals: Love forgiving its enemies. This grand act crowned and still crowns Christianity: it manumits mortals; it translates love; it gives to suffering, inspiration; to patience, experience; to experience, hope; to hope, faith; to faith, understanding; and to understanding, Love triumphant!" (Miscellaneous Writings, p. 124)

As I continued my daily study of the Bible and Science and Health, fear began to give way to confidence, resentment to genuine love and forgiveness, and suffering to inspiration.

I began to write for the Christian Science periodicals and actually had some things accepted. What pure joy that was and continues to be. And I gradually started to walk again. I practically wore out the hymn:

New friends, both male and female, began to appear in my life. I was able to have my beloved pet back and now walk him a mile daily. And each day continues to be happy, holy, and fulfilling as I help others who wish to rely upon prayer for healing and redemption. This Biblical promise rang true: "I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten" (Joel 2:25).

Oh yes, and the syrup all over the canned goods? Well, to this day, whenever I see a bottle of pancake syrup, I'm reminded of God's ever-flowing, ever-present help and His tender mercy and constant love toward each of us.