The day I stopped double-thinking

By Melanie Ann Wahlberg

In the book Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell, the rulers of a futuristic society develop a language called "Newspeak." One of the words of this terse language is doublethink, which means to advocate one view while privately, perhaps even subconsciously, holding another.

I would never have called it double-thinking at the time, and yet that's pretty much what I was doing at one point several years ago. I had suffered from intense discomfort any time I was quite active during hot weather. I had become accustomed to anticipating acute pain and debilitation and would even adjust my schedule to avoid exerting myself when it was hot outside.

This disturbed me, because for as long as I could remember, I had considered God to be omnipotent, and I had experienced healings based on my understanding of God's omnipotence. The Bible certainly gives us authority for considering God as the only power influencing our lives, and it assures us that His power is only good. The Psalmist declares: "Among the gods there is none like unto thee, O Lord; neither are there any works like unto thy works... For thou art great, and doest wondrous things: thou art God alone" (Ps. 86:8, 10).

Still it puzzled me that although I believed in God's power, and affirmed it to be the only power there is, I was now burdened by my efforts to defeat what appeared to be another power—sickness. I had prayed for healing, but the problem persisted.

I remember lying on the ground in 90-degree weather at a bicycle ride while other cyclists rode by, thinking, "This is ridiculous. I know that God is the only power and that He guides all activity. Why am I experiencing this pain and inability to continue biking? I must not be praying hard enough." I felt as though I were repeatedly trying to overcome an evil force with a good force that I hoped was stronger. I wondered when I would recognize only one power in my life.

Healings are evidence that God is the only power on earth.

My struggle with this problem forced me to face what was, in a sense, double-thinking—a supposed existence of a good and evil power.

After a very hot and active afternoon, I began to feel the familiar symptoms of nausea and headache. When I got home, I lay down and prayed a short time before falling into a restless sleep. I woke about two hours later, feeling worse than before, with just enough time to go to a meeting I had planned to attend. After the meeting, as I walked out to my car I thought. "I am the perfect effect of the perfect and only cause." I knew that this idea was true right at that moment. God had always been the only power or influence over me, so there was no evil to overcome. With this insight, the symptoms vanished.

At other times I had needed about twenty-four hours to "get through" this cycle. But that evening, I was able to enjoy the sunset on my drive home, free not only from physical symptoms but also from the frustration of struggling with a problem that previously seemed unaffected by prayer. This quick healing was evidence of God's omnipotence and of our dominion over evil. Since that time nearly two years ago I have fully enjoyed physical activity during the heat of the day.

Healings are not victories for the "good forces" of life that would help convince us that God is the strongest power on earth. Rather, healings, as well as peace, harmony, joy, and love, are evidence that God is the only power on earth. We can't be prey to double-think when God's omnipotence reigns in our thoughts.

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