The company I worked for had just closed its doors for good.

Somewhat foolishly, I had loaned the company a large amount of money to help the partners pull through some tough economic times. I had done this against the advice of lawyers and an accountant. But I saw it as investment investment of the heart, not the head.

So there I was no job and no money. Actually, I owed money. It was 1981, and in the area where I lived, jobs were few.

My therapist had been helping me to stop taking prescription drugs and to break through a case of depression/anxiety that had been a problem in my life for years. At the time, it had a pretty good hold on me. On the weekends I played hard and filled all the spaces with activity. Fantasy was becoming my reality.

A combination of medicine, cigarettes, and sometimes alcohol seemed the most reasonable help for me at the time. When one didn't work the other might—for a while, for a night's sleep. That seemed enough to ask.

Well, as I said, it was a Friday night. And that weekend I ran across a book I had obtained a couple of years before. I began to thumb through it, reading about notable women in different fields. When I came to "women in religion," I read for the first time about Mary Baker Eddy.

That night I mentioned Mrs. Eddy to a close friend, who told me about the religion she founded, Christian Science, and about Mrs. Eddy's primary work, Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures. My friend was not a Christian Scientist, and is not one today, but she told me the book had been helpful to her. I respected this friend very much, so I went and bought a copy for myself. I began reading it, and even made a couple of visits to a Christian Science Reading Room to buy a magazine or two. I noticed a listing of practitioners in The Christian Science Journal and called one who lived close by, to talk briefly.

After the practitioner had told me a little more about Christian Science, my purse was really a mixed bag. It held Christian Science pamphlets and also a bottle filled with an assortment of pills that I looked on as my "little helpers."

One Saturday night I felt a major anxiety attack coming on. I called the practitioner. I guess she sensed my panic, because she immediately invited me to her home for a visit. It was around 9 o'clock. She greeted me at the door and gave no indication that I was interrupting her evening.

Over the next few weeks I met with this woman regularly. We discussed all my questions, and the problems in my life, which I shared with her in confidence. She began to show me how to approach them from the point of view of healing them through prayer and Christian Science treatment.

I learned to know myself as a child of God, for the first time. At this point the anxiety and depression lessened. The sadness of all the years that seemed to be lost turned into hope and the realization that my life could not be wasted.

I found such comfort in studying the Bible, something I had never done before. I wrote one of the first Bible passages I came upon on a small piece of paper, and carried it with me. It's from Isaiah: "Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness" (41:10).

When I began studying Science and Health more regularly, and praying with the practitioner, it was the Lord's Prayer, with its spiritual interpretation given on pages 16 and 17, that would get my days off and running. The words "Father-Mother God" in the interpretation were especially comforting. I actually felt the meaning of these words embrace me. I had never felt this kind of love before. It was God's love. The "Daily Prayer" was also wonderful (see Manual of The Mother Church by Mrs. Eddy, Art. VIII, Sect. 4).

I found I could forgive individuals I had resented for their thoughtlessness and even their cruelty over the years. I realized it had not actually been directed at me at all. I was learning that they never could take away my joy or deprive me of my own unique opportunities in life. I hadn't lost precious time. I was spiritual. I wrapped myself in this passage from the Bible: "I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten" (Joel 2:25).

Within several months I found work in the same field I had been in before. Things fell into place.

One Saturday as I was leaving the practitioner's office, I remembered that I wanted to give her a check. I reached into my bag and felt a small bottle at the bottom. I pulled it out and saw a faded rainbow of colors. I looked at her with a half-smile and asked if she'd toss something for me. She said she would, and she did.