Through the centuries and throughout the world, people have delighted in the tradition of spring weddings—whether spring falls in April or October. No one knows this better than the Reverend William Barnwell, Associate Rector for Outreach and Community Building at Trinity Church in Boston, who has a busy wedding calendar for April, May, and June and looks forward to the new season with special anticipation.

He shared his enthusiasm with us during a conversation in his office overlooking the Romanesque nineteenth-century Episcopal church in Copley Square in which he serves.

NEW COMMITMENT

"I'm seeing a different generation coming into the church," he told us. "Unlike those of the 1970s and '80s, these are young people with strong ethical and moral standards. They want to be married, and I have a sense that they really do want a lifelong commitment to each other.

"I think they're more mature about what they're doing. They want to be very responsible in raising their children. They are concerned to avoid financial risks and to give structure to their lives. Of course, they make mistakes, but overall I think they are doing better in their relationships than we did in this country in my generation.

"I try to insist on church weddings," he continued. "Church space—the environment—and the worshipful attitude of the wedding service, are a very important part of our Episcopalian tradition. We take a strong stand on the marriage commitment, and we expect couples to sign a statement saying that they believe marriage is monogamous and lifelong. We clergy have two roles: first, to bless the marriage in the name of God on behalf of the church; second, to counsel the couple pastorally.

"I do my best to make sure that they are going to communicate well together, even in the face of the extraordinary demands their careers might make on them. My single greatest concern is that they have enough quality time for each other, and that they put each other and not their jobs first. That's something I try to explore fully when I counsel them before the wedding."

GREATEST JOY

We asked Mr. Barnwell which moment in the service gives him the greatest joy.

"The moment of real commitment," he said, "when the couple repeat their vows after me. They are hard vows to take at a time when they are so romantically involved that they may not yet fully understand the impact of the words. For example, 'Forsaking all others' and being faithful 'as long as you both shall live' is a tough requirement for anyone in the wide-open society in which we live. And this, I point out, is not a contract that can be broken, but a covenant in the Christian sense of that word—something like the covenant God makes with the people Israel in Scripture: they may turn away from God, yet God remains faithful to them.

"But I am quick to assure them that the church is always available to support them, and I encourage the members of the congregation to do all in their power to uphold the bridal couple in their marriage.

"In recent years I have found more and more married couples are coming back to church to renew their vows and express gratitude for the joy they've shared. And this pleases me. I think you'll understand," he said, with one more glance at the sunlit church on Copley Square, "why I want to put my energies into helping to develop strong marriages. I'm committed to it!"

Later, we talked with Melanie and Aaron Strout, who were married by Mr. Barnwell in Trinity Church a few months ago. Speaking with one voice, they said, "We liked the way he gave special meaning to the words cherish and honor. He pointed out that cherish is a synonym for love and means to protect and treat someone with affection. To nurture them. It also means, to delight in ... to really enjoy them. He said that to cherish someone is a God-given gift, and he asked us to be open to that way of looking at it.

"He emphasized that the word honor in our vows calls for a kind of super respect for each other. And he said that if we really honored each other, there'd be justice in our marriage—we'd figure out a way to share the hard work that marriage calls for, and to understand each other's point of view. We'd never seen those words quite like that before. And we were touched to discover how closely he had listened to us during the time we had spent together before the wedding. He brought our thoughts into his homily, enriched them, and made them feel new!"

PHILIPPIANS

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Philippians 4:8