As a child and young adult, I couldn't have imagined that "the thing which I greatly feared" (Job 3:25) would lead to my learning of God's existence and His eternal presence.

A warning to me from my loving mother when I was about six years old was probably the beginning of the fear. She advised me to do whatever I could to avoid the dangers and horrors of military combat, should our nation become involved in some future war.

A few years later, at the beginning of the China-Japan War, I experienced my first war-related shock. Stories of the Japanese invasion of China filled the news. For some time afterward I occasionally woke from nightmares involving fleets of the enemy's planes flying over Portland's western hills on their approach to attack the city. Just the sound of an airplane engine at any time or place would completely distract me, causing me to shudder with fear.

Growing up, I had some involvement with Christian Science. I spent a little time in a Christian Science Sunday School, and on occasion our family had the prayerful help of a Christian Science practitioner.

After my graduation from high school, I participated in a government-sponsored training program. During that time, I asked a practitioner to pray for me because I was suffering with shingles. Before returning to the program, I was required to be examined by a doctor. The doctor said it was the first case of shingles she had ever seen that was halted at a halfway point, and she was very impressed by the short time the healing took. Nevertheless, I was far from accepting the teachings of Christian Science, and I had no understanding of the nature of God.

By the time the United States became involved in the Second World War, I had just about outgrown these childhood emotions, but I hadn't forgotten my mother's warning. I felt the time had come for me to protect myself from "the terrors of war." I applied for admittance to a military meteorology training program, hoping for at least a couple of years of battle-free college education and one of the less dangerous active-duty assignments. I was accepted into the program. At that point I began to read Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy from time to time. However, this did not stop me from continuing a self-seeking, materialistic life style.

A series of events ultimately brought me to "the thing which I greatly feared." I was unable to meet the requirements of the training program and was dismissed after six months. My efforts to avoid the field of battle continued. Another military-sponsored college training program in which I had become involved was suddenly, unexpectedly cut from the military agenda. When this happened, everyone in the program was immediately transferred to the infantry, the branch of service I had most wanted to avoid.

Although I wasn't aware of it at the time, my parents had asked for prayerful help from a practitioner to aid their support of me. By the time my unit was crossing the Atlantic toward the European battlefront, my apprehension had left me. I had also become more interested in Christian Science. Just reading the Responsive Reading section of the Bible Lesson outlined in the Christian Science Quarterly gave me a sense of peace. But it wasn't until we reached the front lines of the battlefield that I began reading the entire Bible Lesson. It was then that I gained a clear sense of spiritual truth.

Except for the shooting, shelling, and missile firing that were going on from time to time, I had many hours of quiet privacy in my foxhole on the front line. The lesson had my full attention, and it was during this period that I became aware of the existence of God. Suddenly one day while I was studying the lesson, I felt enveloped by divine Love—an unexplainable, exhilarating experience. At the same time I knew that I and the entire universe had always been encompassed by Love, although until that instant I had not been aware of it. I wanted to tell everyone about what I had learned. I tried, but few seemed interested.

Anyway, I never received a battle wound; I had rapid recovery from frozen feet, which I was told could lead to permanent disability; and I endured the physical harassment of a POW work camp without complications.

In the years since the war, this Science has helped me overcome many difficulties. All the challenges I have faced or may face have been and will be opportunities to prove God's loving presence and power through growth in the understanding of Christian Science. I am most grateful for His care and for the fact that I am not a "believer" in God but a "knower" of His ever-loving presence.

Howard H. Lamb
Portland, Oregon