Some years ago, though I had been a student of Christian Science for many years, I became involved in an immoral relationship with a man with whom I worked. (I had recently been divorced; he was married.) I was wholly obsessed with the thought of him. Along with the immoral behavior I began to drink. During the two years that this continued, I suffered from a heart condition that threatened my life.

Prior to this time I had been attending services at my branch Church of Christ, Scientist, and had been a teacher in the Sunday School. But now I withdrew from teaching, and constant guilt and self-condemnation kept me from attending the Sunday and Wednesday services.

During this time I would resolve to end the relationship, only to find that the attraction overwhelmed the resolve. Many arguments came, such as "I'm only human!" and "How can I not feel the attraction when we work in the same office?"

In looking back now, I find myself in awe of the wondrous power that finally brought about my healing. For even though feelings of unworthiness plagued me day and night, deep within me I felt an impulsion to keep on praying. I had not ceased daily study of the Bible Lessons (outlined in the Christian Science Quarterly). I read the Christian Science textbook, Science and Health by Mrs. Eddy, over and over again. One statement in the textbook that gave me great hope was "Evil which obtains in the bodily senses, but which the heart condemns, has no foundation; but if evil is uncondemned, it is undenied and nurtured" (p. 448). With all my heart I condemned the evil that seemed to dominate me.

I also read the Bible and clung to the promises of God's protecting love and power. I read issues of the Sentinel and The Christian Science Journal. Eventually I found that although I slept little, I suffered less and less from lack of sleep.

There were moments when the truth of perfect, spiritual being was so clear that I saw the fundamental unreality of evil and felt my battle was won. But the heart condition became more aggressive. Each time it appeared threatening I would ask for prayerful support from a Christian Science practitioner and would receive relief.

One morning, after a particularly difficult night of pain, the thought came that if I attempted to rise to go to my job, I would die. Nevertheless, as I continued to pray, I was able to dress and go to work. Later that morning I again felt extremely ill. But just as this came, I felt a rush of gratitude and the glad realization that God, good, is my Life! The severe pain left, and I finished the day's work without any difficulty. As it turned out, the heart trouble had been completely healed.

But there were other difficulties that still needed healing. One night shortly after this, I succumbed to the desire for alcoholic drink. I was in a drunken stupor when I sat down at a table on which lay an open Bible. As I read a few words, light flooded my thought. I saw at that moment the impersonal, aggressive nature of evil and at the same time knew its powerlessness.

Now sober, I poured the remainder of the bottle down the drain with no hesitation. I felt the cleansing Christ, Truth. I knew that my healing was complete.

From that day on, there was no other immoral act or word between the man and me. At first I thought I would feel the temptation again. But, although we worked together for another year, I felt no such temptation. I realized that the truth of being revealed in the teachings of Christian Science had dispelled the error of my thought and action, and because it was proved to be nothing, it could not return.

In the years since this healing, there have been other times to pray and learn more of the purity and inviolability of God's perfect, spiritual creation. But that healing has remained perfect with no reversal. And it has been a foundation on which to build. My gratitude has increased with each lesson learned since them. Every facet of my life has been purified to a greater degree.

It is with the deepest love for God that I offer this testimony with the hope that others may find hope and encouragement. Words alone will never express the depth of my gratitude.

Name withheld