During a recent rereading of Science and Health, I was struck by Mrs. Eddy's statement about her discovery of Christian Science, "God had been graciously preparing me during many years for the reception of this final revelation of the absolute divine Principle of scientific mental healing." ^{Science and Health, p. 107.} Since I had been reading a biography of Mrs. Eddy not long before, I thought of all the grim and tormenting experiences she had endured during the years before her discovery and I began to wonder just what she had meant by gracious preparation.

To find out what she herself had said about her early life, I reread Retrospection and Introspection. There, she briefly mentions the death of her husband George Glover, the loss of her son, her illness, and so on. ^{See Ret., pp. 19–22, 24 .} But I was struck by the considerable space she devoted to two episodes in which she confronted the doctrine of predestination. ^{See ibid., pp. 13–15 .} The first is an account of a healing she had of a fever induced by her struggles with her father's "relentless theology." Through obedience to her mother's encouragement to "lean on God's love" she was restored to health. The second episode describes her admission into the Congregational Church despite her refusal to accept the doctrine that her brothers and sisters might be foreordained to damnation.

In the chapter "Marriage and Parentage" she gives a brief account of her first marriage and widowhood, her second marriage, and the removal of her young son to a town far away from her. She comments, "Mere historic incidents and personal events are frivolous and of no moment, unless they illustrate the ethics of Truth." ^{Ibid., p. 21.} The next section is entitled "Emergence into Light," which stresses the helplessness of matter to lighten the gloom of mortality. As she began to reject dependence on mortality, she was ready for spiritual illumination. "The Great Discovery," which follows, tells of the final steps that led to her discovering Christian Science.

From this study, it dawned on me that God's preparation of our hearts lifts us above the vicissitudes that beset us to the spiritual inspiration that enables us to meet and overcome them. I began to see my own experience in a different light. The only predestination at work in my human affairs was the absolute demand for unity with God, and so for spiritual growth. If I resisted this demand, difficulties came, not because God was sending them but because difficulties are an inevitable consequence of failure to express some quality of God. When, through prayer, study, and a change of attitude, I had been prepared for new insight, I found my troubles yielding.

Furthermore, as I examine my memory of past challenges, I realize that in each case the pain, the anxiety, and the anger have faded out. What I remember is the surprising discovery of strength and endurance, the flood of inspiration, the grateful realization that I drew nearer to God in those stressful moments and found more of my true, spiritual selfhood in His image.

A period of unemployment I now recall as the time I learned that no human boss could deprive me of any good; therefore, he had done me no harm, and I had nothing to resent. By the time I found a better job, I had learned there was nothing to forgive. A time of pain, fear, and disability I remember for the realization that as I steadfastly learned to see myself as spiritual, not material, the suffering of the flesh diminished, fear subsided, and material conditions changed to express my uplifted thought.

The Easter morning on Okinawa when I awoke speechless with laryngitis does not haunt my memory with any fear that voice is dependent on matter and therefore vulnerable. To the contrary, through prayer I learned that morning that beauty is not a personal possession but an expression of Principle, God. As a result I was able to sing at several military bases where I had agreed to solo. When the cue came for my first solo, my voice was suddenly free and full. And it remained so thereafter. This experience prepared me for later emergencies I faced while soloing, while serving as Reader in a branch Church of Christ, Scientist, and during my teaching career.

Christ Jesus said, "A woman when she is in travail hath sorrow...: but as soon as she is delivered of the child, she remembereth no more the anguish." ^{John 16:21.} Thus every inspiration we have ever received, every lesson that only Spirit can support us in trouble, every healing that has blessed us, becomes gracious preparation for the new lessons that await us each day.