A scene too often familiar: A pleasant dinner. Every detail delightful, and then the conversation lapses into talking about friends or co-workers, which often includes running them down and exaggerating their shortcomings and problems.

What a distasteful morning after! Why did I go along and contribute to that?

There might have been a time in tightly knit community life when gossip constituted most of the conversation. In some locales it still does. Where people may have little else to vary their leisure, discussing the "soap opera" of daily life seems to be a form of escape from monotony and doldrums.

Yes, I'll do better next time or avoid the occasion, but is the problem only with other people and social habits? How about the conversations I have with myself?

Do I "gossip" with me? Are critical, belittling thoughts part of my "relaxed" thinking? Or is my evaluation of people scientifically Christian, healing—based on seeing God's perfect man right where a less-than-perfect mortal might appear to be? Christian Science differentiates between the mortal that is often sick or full of faults and the real, spiritual man that we are in truth— the perfect likeness of God. This spiritual man is not seen by the physical senses but can be discerned by prayerfully lifting our thought to the consciousness of God's spiritual creation as the reality.

If my conversations with myself are prayerfully monitored, do I—when I am with people—have my conversation reflect this spiritual view? In an address to Christian Scientists Mrs. Eddy once gave this counsel: "Ofttimes examine yourselves, and see if there be found anywhere a deterrent of Truth and Love, and 'hold fast that which is good.'" ^{The First Church of Christ, Scientist, and Miscellany, pp. 128–129.} Controlling conversation is important when we are with people, but we can control it better if we watch our thinking when we are alone.

When getting ready for a social engagement, I have found it helpful to "pre-cleanse" my thinking in preparation for being a contributing guest or hostess. And good conversation is often more needed than good food! The exchange of ideas and viewpoints is important. Without conversation our thinking might never be challenged. We could drift off into all kinds of assumptions without considering them thoroughly. Also without conversation we might forget that others, too, are reaching for spiritual ideals. We can know how our associates feel and think without getting trapped into destructive talk. The important thing is to face issues fairly and constructively, with ourselves and in discussions with others.

This can be done best as we resolve conflict through God, reaching out to the divine Mind, who is both Love and Truth, to help us find answers that do not compromise Principle. Even if an argument becomes heated, we can stop and turn silently to God for direction. We don't have to continue in an addiction to disparaging others or justifying ourselves and our viewpoints.

Actually, conversation with oneself mirrors discussion with others. We can go along passively accepting some material view of someone we may be thinking of. Or we can face the issue and argue against mortal thoughts and fears, as Jacob did before becoming reunited with his brother, Esau. ^{See Gen., chaps. 32–33 .} The Bible tells us that Jacob had previously been unjust and deceptive to his brother. His struggle with his fears and sins, which the Bible describes metaphorically as his wrestling with a man, led to his apprehension of an angel message. This spiritual experience not only enabled Jacob to meet Esau with tears of joy and love; it fundamentally changed his nature, and he became Israel, the forefather of a nation that worshiped God.

Christ Jesus had conversations with himself and with God before he taught others. He spent forty days in the wilderness before going out to teach and heal and to deliver his Sermon on the Mount. We can do that sort of preparatory work too—even without a wilderness for seclusion—in the private sanctuary of our hearts.

Our conversations with ourselves shape our lives in many ways. They shape our appearance, our personal environment, our job, marriage, family, as well as our associations with others. It is important to keep our thoughts healthy by clearing them of sickly, sinning images and realizing that man is already God's spiritual reflection.

After a disastrous conversation it is important to purify our thinking about others and about ourselves. We start by being honest about sin, whether it seems to be in ourselves or in another person. This leads to repentance, a deep desire to think and act better. Then self-condemnation, as well as condemnation of others, needs to be cleared away by realizing that the truth of man's perfection as God's creation applies to us as well as our associates. For healing we need to deny mentally every picture of sickness and sin and realize that every individual is, in his true being, actually an idea of God. Seeing this spiritual fact, right in the face of its opposite, is where we need God's help most. It is divine Love, Truth itself, that corrects our thinking when we turn prayerfully to God and seek to yield to what He knows.

Conversations with oneself can be grand. When they center on God, they expand into prayer, and we realize we are never really alone. Prayerful conversations within ourselves include both talking and listening to God, for it is through spiritual consciousness that we hear God. Such conversations strengthen us to refrain from being pulled down into the mire of material-mindedness. They head us off from being the generator of an unhealthy conversation in a group. Then conversational occasions can be beautiful experiences with happy mornings after as they should be, as we really want them to be.

Mrs. Eddy tells us: "If Truth is overcoming error in your daily walk and conversation, you can finally say, 'I have fought a good fight ... I have kept the faith,' because you are a better man. This is having our part in the at-one-ment with Truth and Love." ^{Science and Health, p. 21.}

Spiritually disciplined conversations with ourselves can help social occasions develop into constructive events. It is not the rehearsing of speeches through daydreaming that prepares us. These imagined conversations often assume attitudes and situations we never encounter. We can instead open our thought to receive God's wisdom and listen for what is right to say, whatever the trend of discussion. If we do this, we can feel confident not only that we will be glad we were there but that others will be glad we came, too. Then our conversations will tend to lift thought higher, even be healing, and everyone will be blessed.