In some families things run smoothly. In others family peace is threatened when members find themselves bickering, even blaming, criticizing, and belittling each other. In such circumstances one might well say, "How can I love my life when I'm shown so little respect and consideration and affection?" The temptation is great to cave in to anger or to fear and defeat. But there is another option: turn to God in prayer.

Through prayer we begin to realize that we're not helpless. A power greater than all the arrogance, pettiness, or selfishness is with us. That power is God. And God is good, available to all and loving all impartially. His assurance comes to us just as it did to Joshua: "Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest." ^{Josh. 1:9.}

God's purpose for each one is good. No person or power can prevent God's goodness from being seen and felt when we prayerfully acknowledge that man, God's expression, is the true identity of everyone. God is Mind, and we can listen quietly for the strengthening ideas of truth that enable us to meet with courage and inner security whatever would obstruct the peace He gives. He imparts the wisdom we need for knowing how to handle others' belittling or berating comments. Many times in such situations the best thing to do is to quite and to insist silently on man's undeviating perfection as the reflection of God—and then to go on as though nothing had happened. But if divine Mind leads us to say or do something to correct the situation, we can turn to that same divine Mind for the tact, strength, humility, and sometimes even humor, to be gracious as well as firm in what we say and do.

It's a glorious thing to know that God loves us, all of us. His love supports us and shows us the spiritually based way to deal with malicious threats to family harmony. The love of God is not something way off but is right here and now. It enfolds us more tenderly than the gentlest mother can hold her baby. It shields us from abrasive attacks more surely than the most caring father can protect his child. As we begin to understand God's presence.

The truth is that God is perfect and that man is always His reflection. God is Love. So man must be consistently loving. He is not a mortal, subject to moods or a sour disposition. God is Truth. So man, our true selfhood, must be pure. Since man's origin is God, divine Love, man cannot be contaminated by hereditary tendencies toward temper. Governed by divine Principle, man can never lack control or be anything but good. Spiritual discernment enables us to reach past incidents that would trigger anger, to the unchanging quietude that is available as we maintain in consciousness the truth that only God's control of man has ever been reality. Our recognizing that in truth man has never been outside God's loving care can help to remove scars of any bitter experience that may tempt us to hold to a nasty outlook on life. These negative feelings can be removed as we gratefully acknowledge that nothing but divine Love has actually ever touched us, for our true identity dwells eternally in God's presence.

This truth of and man can bring serenity, no matter what seems to be going on around us. Evil claims to operate by pitting one person against another and keeping a running battle going between them. But however aggressive its claims may be, the fact is that God is the only Mind, the only power—divine, ever-present Love. Fear and selfishness and hatefulness have no actual power or reality.

Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy, who discovered and founded Christian Science, disarms fear when it states: "The understanding, even in a degree, of the divine All-power destroys fear, and plants the feet in the true path,—the path which leads to the house built without hands 'eternal in the heavens.'" And the sentences that follow handle hatefulness with dispatch: "Human hate has no legitimate mandate and no kingdom. Love is enthroned." ^{Science and Health, p. 454.} Gaining mastery over the belief that animosity can control our lives helps to rout the fear of being unfairly treated.

The contentiousness that disrupts a family's happiness is a form of hypnotic suggestion from which we do have recourse. Science and Health urges, "We should become more familiar with good than with evil, and guard against false beliefs as watchfully as we bar our doors against the approach of thieves and murderers." ^{Ibid., p. 234.}

Paul spelled out the way to handle hypnotic suggestions when he wrote: "Though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (for the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ." ^{II Cor. 10:3–5.} It follows that our protection lies in keeping our thinking in conformity with Christly precepts. Consciousness strengthened with the truth of God and man is confident, sweet, and safe.

The more aggressive the turmoil, the more earnestly we must seek to understand the absolute control of God in every situation. Clinging to the fact that He is the Father of all and that each individual in truth expresses the divine Mind will help to bring about a harmonious brotherhood based on the oneness of Mind. Knowing that divine Mind does not impart fearful, selfish, cruel thoughts shows us that such attitudes have no actual origin. Therefore there are no such thoughts to claim to use one person as a channel and another as a target.

If we think the bickering and faultfinding have gone on so long that they are an indelible part of a person's nature, we're leaving out the power of the divine impulsion to bring "every thought to the obedience of Christ." The impulsion of divine Mind strenthens our faith that "with God all things are possible," ^{Matt. 19:26.} as Christ Jesus taught. We can have faith that it is possible for the surliest disposition to change for the better. And we can recognize man's true nature so clearly that our thoughts can provide an atmosphere for change.

God, Spirit, impels us to be mentally flexible—to be willing to let go of grievances and see another's point of view instead of growing rigid and indifferent. Or we may need to stand courageously without yielding. The divine impulsion felt through prayer enables us to feel God's presence, to follow the urging and promise of these lines from that well-known hymn:

As we respond to this assurance, we can hold more easily to the true manhood and womanhood of God's creating and perceive the genuine spiritual identity of everyone—including the one who troubles us sorely.

We can respond to the impulsion of divine Principle, Love, to be at peace in spite of "furnace fire" family situations—to live love by being more forgiving, loving, and patient. These qualities developing in us lift us above the badgering suggestions of mortal mind.

Referring to Revelation 21:9, Mrs. Eddy writes: "The beauty of this text is, that the sum total of human misery, represented by the seven angelic vials full of seven plagues, has full compensation in the law of Love. Note this,—that the very message, or swift-winged thought, which poured forth hatred and torment, brought also the experience which at last lifted the seer to behold the great city, the four equal sides of which were heaven-bestowed and heaven-bestowing." ^{Science and Health, p. 574.}

In facing experiences full of "hatred and torment," our daily and hourly efforts to be kind, alert, and poised will come more readily as we see that love, clarity, and perfect equipoise are qualities of divine Mind, which man reflects. They come from God in inexhaustible measure and enrich our lives in ways we can see and feel—even if the overall problem does not yield quickly.

The Psalmist said, "Shew me a token for good." ^{Ps. 86:17.} We can count on God's giving us "a token for good" when we're living as much wisdom and love as we know how to. These tokens come in different ways to encourage us when the going is rough.

One woman recalls God's tokens for good coming to her in times of despair, like oases in a desert of anguish. Once it was in the flash of the brightly colored wings of a splendid bird swooping down momentarily before the windshield of her car. At another time it came in a comic column of geese "goose-stepping" along a country road where she had never seen geese before. And at still another time it was an unexpected letter from a friend, who wrote just what she needed to hear.

These incidents may appear insignificant. Yet they were enough to lift the woman from gloom to gladness with the glimpse of beauty or comedy or tenderness they brought. She recognized them as tokens of God's love. They brought hope—the hope she needed to carry on with dignity and a much lighter heart.

Animosity and wrangling must eventually dissolve and disppear before God's redeeming love. In the meantime, the more we recognize God's power and goodness, the more we'll see the powerlessness of evil to manipulate anybody into the perverse and degrading habit of putting another down. A higher and surer sense of harmony comes to the family as the realization dawns that true being is perfect, complete, and gentle because it reflects God, divine Life and Love. With this yielding comes the spiritual understanding that the human experiences of life give us opportunities to learn how to love God and man. And we'll find also that we love our lives.