Last summer, shortly after I started my alternative service required of a conscientious objector* (working in a Christian Science House, caring for the elderly), one of my fingers became badly swollen and very painful. Despite the fact that the condition worsened, I felt it was my duty to stay with the job. So I continued with my work, although most of the time I could use only my right arm because of the pain and swelling that had now spread to my left arm.

I also earnestly began to pray. I knew for sure that real healing could be brought about only through divine Love. Every inharmonious condition arises from a false concept of God, or Love. Thus when inharmony appears, the most effective remedy is to turn again and grow closer to God.

Despite this metaphysical work, I became very fearful of possible dangerous consequences of the inflammation. Soon symptoms of blood poisoning were evident.

*Editors' Note: A Christian Scientist's decision to be a conscientious objector is purely a matter of individual choice, not of church policy.

Since I was so preoccupied with fear, I contacted a Christian Science practitioner. In the course of our conversation it became clear to me that I had to let go of the fear. I also realized that no condition of the body can do any harm (or good) to God's child, since he is spiritual. In Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures Mary Baker Eddy says (p. 419): "Think less of material conditions and more of spiritual." I now joyously worked to become better acquainted with my relationship to God. I no longer thought of healing the body. Instead I was happy about each new spiritual realization. For the first time I was again able to sleep after three almost sleepless nights.

A few days later, something of decisive importance suddenly became clear to me. While reading an article in one of the Christian Science periodicals, I understood what "true reflection" really means. Reflection is something wrought by God, which means that we do not have to try to do something good out of our own limited power in order to reflect goodness, but that we were created as reflecting all good. As God's child I could not help expressing good, since God is the source of all true goodness and activity.

It was only a few minutes after this realization that the infected finger opened and drained.

I now knew that the false dream I had to awake from was believing I could do something good for the Christian Science House and its residents through my own power. Since much was expected of me there, I wanted to do everything possible to fulfill these expectations. But I had forgotten that God is the only source of action and ideas. Human will and the belief in man's own creative power had been hiding under the guise of social concern. Mrs. Eddy clearly corrects this falsity (Science and Health, p. 305): "The verity that God's image is not a creator, though he reflects the creation of Mind, God, constitutes the underlying reality of reflection."

Inflammation on my face and neck also disappeared when I pondered the following passage from the textbook, Science and Health (p. 25): "The spiritual essence of blood is sacrifice." I understood that the humble recognition of God's power removes human will and that this is true sacrifice. Complete healing was the result. I am very grateful for this experience because it brought me so many unexpected and wonderful realizations, setting me new spiritual goals and tasks.

KLAUS-HENDRIK HERR
Hamburg, Federal Republic of Germany