The red dump truck lay on its side in the center of the kitchen. Since Willy was about to go out, his mother asked him (nicely) to put the truck away in the playroom. Willy said (not very nicely), "No, I don't want to."

My friend, Sarah, didn't react to his challenge. We continued our conversation. In a few minutes Willy dropped to his knees, revved up his engine sounds, and drove the truck across the kitchen into the playroom. "I'm going out now," he said and went through the back door.

I laughed. "I remember how frustrated I felt when our kids were little and tried to get attention in feisty ways."

"Me too," Sarah said. "But at least I know now how to deal with what he says. When our first child pulled this negative stuff, I got furious. Finally, I realized kids don't always mean what they say. Or say what they mean. At any age. Sometimes it may be better to wait and see what they do before correcting. But it's the little confrontations that can wear you down. The only way I can cope with them—and all the challenges of living with four children—is having rivers of patience and constant prayer."

When and how a young Willy puts away his dump truck may not be crucial. But it illustrates the kind of daily predicament and confrontation that is part of family life. Once into the swim of raising children, parents often wonder how they can possibly know enough to cope intelligently with its nagging complexities. Is there an authority they can turn to?

The Bible assures us: "The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much."^{James 5:16;} This prayer, as understood in Christian Science, is no simplistic or irrational pleading for help. It is an affirmation of the source and authority of good, an awareness that God— Mind—is present with man. Such prayer acknowledges that parents as well as children are God's spiritual offspring. We are not candidates for studies in behaviorism. Nor are our families bundles of emerging egos asserting and manipulating separate wills. True prayer applies the fact that God, as Father-Mother, is the one Ego and is supreme. This prayer trusts in the immediacy of divine intelligence.

Prayer calms fear and steadies emotions. It comforts those who pray and whomever their thought touches, because prayer shows that what is loved is at one with Love. When a parent prays, Truth does not suddenly become effective and omnipresent; prayer enables us to see that nothing but Truth is ever in effect and that we can trust our family to this fact.

Family situations sometimes arise in which the parent feels that the child is doing wrong or will if given too much leeway, and that rigid discipline is therefore in order. In such cases the child may feel his actions don't deserve punishment. The result can be harsh words, bitterness, resentment of authority, and rebellion. But if parents realize that divine Mind is the only authority and genuinely trust God's power to temper thought and action, this prayer will show them how to cope and it will restore equilibrium.

The parent can affirm that the sinner (or the sick or the angry or the disappointed or the confused) is never the individual child or parent. The only sinner is the claim that man is born into matter, separated from good. Sin is the one false belief that there has ever been a mind separate from God, whether as a child, parent, or grandparent. The spiritual understanding of God refutes this false sense of man's origin and possibilities, revealing God as Spirit, the creator of spiritual man, the only man there is.

Sometimes it seems difficult to make the connection between prayer and the specific issue of a back-talking three-year-old. Or a pot-smoking fourteen-year-old. Or an overprotective forty-year-old Can prayer actually show parents the best way to talk and act in various ordinary and very human situations?

Mary Baker Eddy, the Discoverer and Founder of Christian Science, gives us this outline of effective prayer in Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures: "The prayer that reforms the sinner and heals the sick is an absolute faith that all things are possible to God,—a spiritual understanding of Him, an unselfed love." ^{Science and Health, p. 1;}

The "absolute faith that all things are possible to God" is as practical as cooking a meal. When this prayerful point of view is adopted from a sincere desire, not to be the one who is right but to see how rightly divine Love provides for all, such prayer impels fair and satisfying resolutions.

Through the willingness to pray, the parent is releasing fuzzy or frenetic inclinations in favor of the wisdom of divine Mind. Such prayer might lead to any of a number of responses ranging from refusing to react (as Willy's mother did), to correcting a child immediately, to setting up new, carefully explained rules. The purpose of prayer is not to outline specific human direction. It is to acknowledge that true direction is from the one Mind, and therefore this direction will be gently apparent and acceptable.

Many times when needing specific decisions about family situations I have felt the healing power of prayer. At one time a child of ours was, according to an alarmed teacher, choosing companions who were "not the right sort." Along with that, he was failing one subject. Another teacher advised us to be very strict and force our son to study harder. A neighbor thought he needed therapy of some sort. A relative chimed in to say he was sure the boy would never amount to much because of his antisocial behavior and the way he wore his hair.

It all sounds humorous now, many years later, but at the time my emotions blocked out the comedy. Where had my husband and I gone wrong that our son chose such disreputable friends? What should we do? At first I read books and sought advice from our friends. But my usually sturdy common sense didn't seem very dependable; delving into the past seemed a futile rehash; the books and friends had lots of theory but little relation to something I knew in my heart was essential—spiritual identification. I concluded that prayer was my best resource and recourse.

I realized this was a test having one question. How complete was my faith in God? What needed reform was my fear that man could be a sinner. As a Christian Scientist I knew the way to destroy fear was to understand God better, to see more clearly that He is the only power. In the universe of Truth there could not be a lying presentation of man. In the universe of Spirit there could be no unfortunate developments or confused individuals.

It became clear to me that one major lie I needed to wipe out was the belief of many minds—strong and weak, well-meaning and mischievous—trying to influence us or our children. I saw it was vital to establish in consciousness the authority of the one divine Mind and to welcome its supremacy in our lives.

A paragraph in Science and Health was extremely useful: "When we realize that there is one Mind, the divine law of loving our neighbor as ourselves is unfolded; whereas a belief in many ruling minds hinders man's normal drift towards the one Mind, one God, and leads human thought into opposite channels where selfishness reigns." ^{ibid., p. 205.}

I loved the concept of "man's normal drift towards the one Mind," and I trusted the truth of it. In a short time my concerns petered out. We heard nothing more from the school about our son's shady associates, and his marks began to improve. In this particular instance, we decided not to say anything to him about his choice of friends but noticed that the most unsatisfactory ones weren't coming around anymore.

It was a good illustration for our family that if we have absolute faith in God's power and goodness, prayer will direct us in what we need to know and do. Now the little confrontations—the red dump trucks and report cards of the children's growing years— have been forgotten. But when we look back over the years of details and decisions, we realize the enormous strength we derived from having; relied on God.