It's hard to put into words how grateful I am for Christian Science. It would be equally hard to describe how my life would be without it, because it has become so fundamental to me. One cannot really be "born" into Christian Science, even when his parents are students of Science, as in my case. But faithful teaching in the home and in a Christian Science Sunday School is a great value in helping a youngster become a Christian Scientist. This proved true for me.

Even though I was nominally a Scientist from childhood, my adherence to these teachings, as a young man, had to be thoroughly tested before I became a permanently dedicated, working Scientist. This came about when I fell in love with a good-looking girl who worked in the same office where I did. There was a strong physical attraction, but what we had in common really didn't go deep enough.

While she was a good, moral person, something told me we weren't meant for each other. I began to realize that a marriage with her would lack the spiritual qualities, which seemed so necessary to me. I also felt I wouldn't meet her needs. At a time when I could view the situation objectively, I saw that the attraction was superficial. I knew that thinking based primarily on physical attraction wasn't underpinned by divine Love.

I prayed to realize that giving in to physical, willful impulses wasn't true self-expression. On the contrary, it was the opposite of freedom and independence of thought—a smoke screen hiding my true thoughts. I began to see I must turn away from a biological urge to pure thoughts of God. I saw from Paul's statement (Rom. 8:7), "The carnal mind is enmity against God," that my enemy was the belief in a source of thought other than God. I wasn't depending on my own ability to resist but putting myself in God's hands. God was furnishing me with all the moral courage, all the spiritual strength I needed.

I prayed in this way daily for several months. I stopped seeing the girl. I had many hours of severe struggle with myself, but not once did I yield to the strong temptation to resume the relationship. Every time I turned to God as the source of my true thought and being, my prayer was answered. I felt the spiritual strength I needed to continue with what I knew was right. I knew I could trust the girl to be guided by the same spiritual insight that I so keenly felt was directing me.

Gradually the situation changed. I became more free as I realized that the attraction didn't really have a spiritual basis. As I learned in some degree that I was the son of God, and that God was the one and only Mind and source of thought and motivation, I was completely free. This understanding, so laboriously and painfully obtained, has stood me in good stead in the years since. Some time after this occurred I was very happily married. And I might add, still am! I found all I had hoped for in the earlier relationship—and a great deal more.

Christian Science has given me a better understanding of what true supply is: the acceptance of the spiritual ideas of good, which divine Love is constantly bringing us. As I have rejected the false belief of lack and accepted these spiritual ideas, the mistaken sense of lack has disappeared, and my material needs have been abundantly met. This Science has given me a better sense of health, which is not a set of physical conditions but an absolute spiritual quality of God, which each of us reflects. It has met my human needs in every way.

It has given me a true understanding of God as divine Love, and of myself and my fellow man and woman as God's loving children. This understanding has been most helpful in overcoming problems of human relationship.

My deepest gratitude goes to God for Mrs. Eddy. Her years of ceaseless self-sacrifice and unremitting toil have given us divine Science. My dearest possession is that I have gotten at least a glimpse of true motive and purpose in life. Mrs. Eddy states this clearly in Science and Health(p. 326): "The purpose and motive to live aright can be gained now. This point won, you have started as you should. You have begun at the numeration-table of Christian Science, and nothing but wrong intention can hinder your advancement. Working and praying with true motives, your Father will open the way."

I'm humbly thankful to feel that I have at least started at this "numeration-table."

Martin N. Heafer
Houston, Texas