"Yea, if thou criest after knowledge, and liftest up thy voice for understanding; ... then shalt thou understand the fear of the Lord, and find the knowledge of God" (Prov. 2:3, 5). This I have been doing since childhood and must express my gratitude to Christian Science for showing me the way.

I was brought up in a Christian home and was a member of an orthodox Protestant church, but was never quite satisfied with what I had been taught about God and His relationship to man. As a student of philosophy and comparative religion during my college years, I first read Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy along with everything else I could find on these subjects. At first it was just another theory to me, but gradually I found myself reading exclusively the works of Mrs. Eddy and other writings pertaining to Christian Science. I subscribed to the periodicals, and never once doubted that I had finally found the answers to my questions.

With the help of a Christian Science practitioner I had an instantaneous healing of the smoking and drinking habits, and joined The Mother Church and a branch church. I did not have an opportunity to work in the branch church, as my husband and I began a ten-year traveling stint at that time. During these ten years I became very depressed, slept very little, found it impossible to relax or lie down, and was hyperactive most of the time. I had the help of many different practitioners, due to our constant traveling, but my progress was slow. In fact, I quite despaired of my ability to understand the healing power of Truth. I knew the truth could heal—I had many proofs of this—but I had to learn how to apply it and, just as important, how to yield to its power.

In order to learn this I found I had to give up my most cherished possessions. One was the belief in a mind of my own that was well educated and intelligent, a personal mind that knew how to do many things. I had to acknowledge instead the truth that God is the only Mind, that I have no mind of my own. Divine Mind alone governs. Another was the belief that my husband and I were a team that worked together well but depended on each other, and that he was decidedly the dominating male. This I replaced with a greater understanding of man's true selfhood as God's image, and with the recognition of the allness of God's creation described in the first chapter of Genesis, and the nothingness of the Adam and Eve myth. I had to realize that I was not an Eve being led around by a loving Adam.

Our beloved Leader, Mrs. Eddy, tells us in Science and Health (p. 141): "More than profession is requisite for Christian demonstration. Few understand or adhere to Jesus' divine precepts for living and healing. Why? Because his precepts require the disciple to cut off the right hand and pluck out the right eye,—that is, to set aside even the most cherished beliefs and practices, to leave all for Christ." I had to learn, as Christ Jesus said (John 6:63), that "it is the spirit that quickeneth; the flesh profiteth nothing," and that I could do nothing by myself. I needed God's help and guidance. Mrs. Eddy says (Science and Health, p. 495), "Study thoroughly the letter and imbibe the spirit." I had fulfilled the first part—studied "thoroughly the letter"— and now I had to "imbibe the spirit." Of course, this learning process is still going on. The giving up of cherished beliefs at first made Christian Science seem hard to me, but I am learning that the quickening of the spirit is sublime! My healing of the physical disorders came with the recognition of my true nature as a spiritual idea of God.

In giving up "cherished beliefs and practices" I overcame in some degree resentment, pride, envy, self-will, criticism, rigidity, and a false sense of responsibility, and have learned to express more humility, flexibility, and love. I am grateful to God for the courage, strength, and perseverance necessary to gain this enlightenment, and for the spiritual awakening that is constantly going on.

(Mrs.) Elsa F. Parks
Zephyrhills, Florida