A few years ago I applied for admission to a college on an early decision plan. At first I found myself haunted by fear of not being accepted and doubt of my ability to do anything, especially demanding academic work. At that same time I was being supported by a Christian Science practitioner and was trying to apply the truths I was learning in my study of Christian Science. A couple of ideas were particularly helpful while waiting to hear from the Admissions Office.

The first was a comforting biblical promise in John (14:2): "In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you." I trusted that there was a place for me. That place existed because Christ Jesus had said so. He was referring to the kingdom of heaven, but I felt that a place would be manifest in a way I humanly could understand and see.

I also realized that I was looking for something besides a place. What I really needed, and what I always have because of my unity with God, was the atmosphere where my understanding of God could grow. I needed an atmosphere where I could study Christian Science and live a life demonstrating the truths I would be learning. This realization calmed and reassured me. I wasn't looking for any particular human place. All the arguments pro and con for this or that college melted before this greater requirement—an atmosphere where I could grow closer to God, divine Love.

The awakening which crowned these earlier discoveries was found in a sentence from Science and Health by Mrs. Eddy (p. 492): "Being is holiness, harmony, immortality." I wanted to understand my relationship to being, to holiness, harmony, and immortality. I saw that I reflect God. I used a dictionary to learn more clearly what holiness meant. The third definition of "holy" I found was, "deserving reverence or worship." The word "worship" was derived from an Anglo-Saxon word which meant worthy or honorable.

That gave me a new perspective on my identity. I was "worthy." It seemed to me that something worthwhile was something acceptable. Therefore, as a spiritual idea and child of God, I was holy, worthy, and acceptable. Acceptable to God. The thought of being acceptable to God made me very joyful. What more could I want or need? I was acceptable to God! While still in the glow of seeing that I was acceptable to God, I remembered my earlier doubts about being acceptable to this college. If I was acceptable to God, if I was worthwhile to God, then I could trust confidently that only good could and would come into my experience.

Those thoughts squashed any more doubts, and I was free of anxiety about being accepted by the college. I was convinced that I would be led to the right school or experience. Not only was I accepted by an early decision of that college, I was also awarded a scholarship twice as large as the one I had hoped to be given. This college has been a place for me to grow in my study, practice, and sharing of Christian Science.

I'm most grateful for the practitioner's prayerful work, these thoughts, and the continuing proof of God's care for me and all His children. I'm grateful for this experience and for many other healings my family and I have had because of Christian Science. I'm glad that Christ Jesus and Mrs. Eddy shared their clear understanding of God so unselfishly and lovingly. I deeply value membership in The Mother Church, being able to serve in a Christian Science college organization and a branch church, the effective help of practitioners and teachers, the blessings of class instruction.

(Miss) Francesca Jordan
Albuquerque, New Mexico