With a deep sense of gratitude...

Alfred Raposa

With a deep sense of gratitude to God I humbly submit this testimony. It is my sincere desire that someone searching in the wilderness of materiality may thereby be led to Truth.

About eight years ago I found myself in the deepest despair. I was suffering from a severe nervous breakdown which threatened my sanity and forced me to give up a musical career at an early age. Coupled with this were a serious heart condition and years of sinful living. I knew I could not go on this way, and thought the only solution would be to jump into a river near my home. The thought of suicide became chronic, and each time I passed the river I was nearly overwhelmed with the thought of ending it all. But something in my thought resisted the impulse, and I blindly prayed each time to an unknown God to help me.

One day in the midst of the confusion I remembered that I had attended a few Wednesday evening testimony meetings in a Christian Science church with friends who were not Christian Scientists but, like myself, were attending out of curiosity. I recalled that healings had been related at this meeting, and I felt a deep conviction that this religion would point the way out. I located a Christian Science Reading Room and was lovingly received there. I had no money to buy a Bible or a copy of the Christian Science textbook, Science and Health by Mrs. Eddy. The attendant, however, lovingly gave me an old copy of each of these precious books. I shall never forget the hope that welled up in me as I began to read them. I knew that I had found God, and that through Christian Science I should find health and happiness again. I was instantaneously healed of smoking, drinking, and the use of profanity. I had always been a very selfish person, but now a great desire to love all mankind was born in me, filling me with joy and gratitude.

I read the textbook every moment I could, and as I began to apply its teachings in my life my whole attitude toward living was transformed. I knew I was being reborn, something which Jesus required, as indicated by his words to Nicodemus, "Ye must be born again."

It was several years before a complete healing took place, for many lessons needed to be learned, many traits of character had to be corrected with loveliness, purity, and gratitude. I frequently became discouraged, and after I had been reading the textbook a few months the urge toward suicide became aggravated. Each time I crossed the bridge near my home, the suggestion that I should never really be well again tried to overwhelm me. I clung to the small knowledge I possessed of God's goodness, and on several such occasions the words from Isaiah came clearly to me, "Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness." This promise was certainly proved true, for the suicidal impulse was overcome completely.

Twice during this experience the suggestion that I was passing on was proved false as I thanked God with tears of gratitude that no matter what error was suggesting, I could still know that Christian Science was the truth, and that I could never be separated from good.

I have had many other healings, and each experience has given me a clearer sense of God's creation, and of the altogether lovely One, who holds us all in one grand brotherhood.

All I have today, my home, employment, and friends, I owe to the teachings of Christian Science. Truly, as one of our hymns beautifully expresses it, "My heart is singing: I have found the way."

I wish to express gratitude for those unselfish men and women who are devoting their lives to the practice of Christian Science, healing mankind of their ills. My gratitude for Mrs. Eddy is unbounded. I cannot find words to convey my appreciation of the work she performed in giving to us this great religion. For Christ Jesus, the Way-shower, and for his example I shall always be grateful. His life will always be a beacon light along the way. For membership in The Mother Church, and for all its activities, I am humbly grateful. I thank God for His unspeakable gift.—Alfred Raposa, Providence, Rhode Island.

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