"Loose him, and let him go"

CONSTANCE L. JOHNSTONE

As a mother who is learning to appreciate her true relationship to her child, I would very much like to relate two little experiences which I had recently, that proved how much help instead of hindrance one can give one's child, when the understanding of the truth about God and the truth about man, and their true relationship to one another is realized and faithfully applied.

The first experience is a very homely little incident, but nevertheless a very helpful one, and proved of much value to me. I had always been in the habit of waking my son—now fifteen years of age—in the mornings to prevent his being late for school, hurrying over his study of the Lesson-Sermon, and eating his breakfast hastily. He had never been late for school, and when his grandfather was praising him for his punctuality one day, the thought suddenly occurred to me that the child was accepting unconsciously praise that he had not really merited, and therefore was holding a wrong belief about himself; in fact, he was holding a dishonest position. This thought unfolded to me that the error really lay in my own attitude. My foolish, mistaken sense of mothering him was really smothering him, robbing him of his growth in self-reliance. Having seen the error, I explained it to my son and told him that in the future I would not wake him; that he must learn to rely on God and himself. I had several battles to fight when he was not heard moving in the morning, and once or twice I succumbed to the old anxiety. Finally one morning this thought came ot me clearly: What does it matter if he is late for school, if he does miss his lesson, if he does hurry over his breakfast? Will it not help him far more, and give him a practical experience, and awaken him to the truth of what I explained to him? The enemy was completely overcome in my consciousness this time; therefore, the child was released.

For one or two mornings the waking of the boy was uncertain and the conditions resulting therefrom were very hurried. The question was then raised rather peevishly, "Why don't you wake me, mother, as you used to do?" The answer was, "We must all learn to rely on God and ourselves, and if we have any fears, then let us pray to God for help." That same evening about eight o'clock my son went out without saying anything to me,—a thing which he never did,—and for a moment I wondered where he was going; but I felt no real concern, knowing that good only reigns. The next day I discovered by the side of his bed the pamphlet, "'Awake thou that sleepest,'" so I knew then he had gone down the night before to the Christian Science reading rooms to purchase it, as there was not one in the house. There has been no trouble since, and he wakes each morning regularly. The great lesson to me was borne home, that by leaving our children to God, we free them from our own hampering thoughts and anxieties, and they then begin to develop and progress. Our children will never learn self-reliance and trustworthiness while the parents try to usurp the place of God.

The other experience was a beautiful little healing. It was a Sunday, and there was to be a Christian Science lecture in the afternoon. In the morning my son called me saying he felt too ill to get up. To mortal sense he had a high temperature and a severe chill. I had arranged to go to lunch with a friend after the morning service, and then to the lecture. I told my son I would go to church but would return to him instead of going to the lecture. After the morning service I explained to my friend that I had to return home, as my son seemed ill and there was only the maid to look after him. She lovingly tried to let me see how much the lecture would help me, gently saying, "Cannot you trust him to God?" I said: "Yes, of course I can, but I feel I ought to go home. Anyway I will telephone and see how he is." I did so, and the maid said he was a little better, having slept all morning. I was still anxious, however, and again spoke of going home. Again, the loving friend said, "I do not want to persuade you, but do you not think the lecture will help you to help him,—and how can he come to any harm in God's care?" I again telephoned, and this time left the message that I had decided to go to the lecture after all.

The lecture was very much enjoyed, with the exception of an occasional thought of the boy. After the lecture the desire to go to the evening service and leave the child entirely to God came over me. I rang up on the telephone again. This time my son came himself, and I proposed to him that he, too, come to church. The reply came, "O! I do not feel well enough, mother," but in church I looked up to the gallery, and there was my son, perfectly well.

This was another great lesson to me,—that if we as mothers will only break away from the false sense of anxiety for our children and know they are in God's hands, they make the effort themselves to get free from error and learn to apply the truth for themselves; and that is the highest protection they can possibly have. Parents must learn to "loose" their children and let them go; in other words, free then from the hampering, limiting, human fears, and see then as God's children, being always guarded, guided, and protected by Him. In thus putting them "in the secret place of the most High," we are opening up untold blessings for them; for it is teaching them to rely on God, and not on frail human personalities. There being only one creator, one creation, one Father and Mother in reality, we are all brothers and sisters in Christ, Truth,—therefore dependent on God alone. This experience indicates the wisdom of Mrs. Eddy's admonition in "Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures" (p. 236), "Parents should teach their children at the earliest possible period the truths of health and holiness." In this way only is true freedom from parental anxiety earned.

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