SELF-SURRENDER

KATE W. BUCK.

It has been well said that "no conflict is so severe as his who labors to subdue himself," but when in an individual a genuine desire has awakened actually to accomplish this end, then indeed there is promise that he will reach the highest. Until such a desire is born, progress toward the realities of being must needs be slow. Most of us are quite ignorant of this giant of self in our pathway, or, vaguely realizing that there is something there, fail to call it by name. Often, while seeing clearly the rocks upon which a neighbor stumbles, we lack the insight that would reveal the same obstruction confronting us.

Humanity is apt to look upon a person of strong will and determination as a tower of strength, and the individual himself comes to feel that he is a help and support, in many instances, to seemingly weaker brethren. This he not unnaturally looks upon as a good thing; he likes to be relied upon, and honestly resolves to be worthy of the confidence placed in him. Eager to help, ready to be called on in any emergency, he trusts to his self-reliance, and uses it as a sort of prop for those who seek and are glad to lean on him for support.

When a person of this character comes, usually through much stress, to seek the kingdom of God, he finds it hard to enter in, and he wonders why, as he recalls his many deeds of kindness and looks upon the records and testimonies of his friends as proofs of a well-spent life. Seeking first perhaps intellectually, and failing utterly, he then starts in, with a fixed determination that has never before failed him along other lines, to conquer here in the same way. Again he meets with defeat. Inquiring of some one who has found the way, it may be gently pointed out to him that he learn humility. "No, I thank you," will doubtless be the response, holding in mind a Uriah Heep sort of man, or one of weak will upon whom no one would ever think of depending. To be dependable seems most desirable, and makes one capable of accomplishing much good. When other things needful to the achievement of that to which he has set himself are proposed, he will be likely to affirm, "All these have I kept from my youth up." Not accustomed to being baffled, however, he keeps on, conscious that he is holding to something of which he would fain let go; at the same time he gets occasional glimpses of light that make him know there are greater glories to be revealed, and he is eager to behold them; yet he brings up again and again against what seems a blank wall, beyond which he cannot go.

Sooner or later such a seeker must awaken to the fact that the thing which stands in his way is self, and that if he would truly "enter in through the gates into the city," he must leave self behind; finally acknowledging the truth of the decree, there comes the problem of how to accomplish it. In Science and Health (p. 1) Mrs. Eddy tells us that "desire is prayer;" hence to desire earnestly, sincerely is the first step. Having once recognized the need of overcoming, and being alert to detect the signs of encroaching self, its every form, whether that of self-seeking, self-righteousness, self-pity, self-love, or self-justification, will be readily detected; and detection is the beginning of destruction, for when one has seen an enemy and recognized it as such, he can intelligently work to annihilate it.

In the overthrow of self, the letting go of one's material sense of personality, a need is felt for that which will fill the place now being emptied; and quite a large place it often is. In Christian Science we learn that the space is already filled with divine Love; that it was really there all the time, merely waiting recognition and acceptance, but unable to be made manifest so long as the sense of self-satisfaction lasted. Only those who have confidently learned to cast their burden upon the Lord (and having done so it ceases to be a burden) can rightly know the unspeakable relief of self-surrender. Dropping human care and responsibility, they trust absolutely to the Father, who "hath done all things well," so well that no child of His need worry about the outcome of anything, but unreservedly yield to Him. The sense of peace that such reliance brings does indeed surpass all human understanding.

Many there be who are wearily carrying weights and responsibilities, struggling to be brave, to endure, to be patient and self-reliant, when if they but knew how to let go of this human burden-bearing, to be God-reliant, and know no other but the one reliance, the Almighty, there would be harmony instead of discord. "God's plans go on as best for you and me," whether we know it or not; but in knowing unfalteringly, and in the glad appropriation of this fact, there is rest. The highest type of complete self-surrender is Jesus the Christ. He is the example for all mankind; he knew no self but the Father, wanted no other, sought no other, needed no other. He is "the way," and there is none else; so why seek elsewhere? "No man cometh unto the Father, but by me," said the Master, and he surely knew whereof he spoke. Then to strive faithfully to be done permanently with self, in whatever form, however subtle it may appear, would seem so greatly to be desired that all should prayerfully work to that end, knowing meanwhile that

The battle of our life is won and heaven begun
When we can say, "Thy will be done."

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