When Christian Science found me I was the anxious,...

Margaret Wilson

When Christian Science found me I was the anxious, discouraged mother of six young children, and it is the realization of how foreign the above mental qualities are to me today that impels me to "praise God from whom all blessings flow," and to tell about it, in the hope that it may interest some other mother who seems heartsick and weary as I used to be.

We were an exceptionally healthy family, and my greatest need was a spiritual one. I wanted to follow the teachings of my youth, but it was as if I kept crying for bread and was given a stone. My ideal of motherhood was of one who knew naught of anger or impatience, and breathed only love and compassion amid all the seeming trials incident to the care of small children; but my understanding of God then, together with my daily pleadings, did not seem to destroy one atom of impatience, nor add aught of love, and each year seemed to leave me more fearful and doubtful than it found me.

I now know that I had never in all those years called on "the only living and true God," and that was why my prayers remained unanswered. So-called mental science buoyed me up for a short time, but left me almost hopeless of ever being able to attain in ever so small a degree to my ideal, which through the darkest hours ever stood out in such contrast to my daily life. I was a sore disappointment to myself, and felt that as these dear little ones grew up, I would also be to them; and this thought at times seemed to crush me.

We changed our place of residence, and among my callers was a Christian Scientist. In the course of conversation my great need became apparent to her, and she kindly assured me that I would find my every need supplied in Christian Science. I hardly believed it, but kept pondering over some things she had said, and by the time a lecture was given in a neighboring town I had curiosity enough to attend. In the mean time there had arisen a physical need. Our eight-year-old boy, who had been operated on three times for abnormal growths in the nose and enlarged tonsils, had a return of the same, and we were about to go through the trying ordeal again when I attended the Christian Science lecture.

While listening to it I felt I had at last found the Father's hand, and at the conclusion of it knew that I would never have to let it go. New hope was born, and I put the boy into a practitioner's care that day. I was ignorant and wilful, and thought that God ought to heal the child in my way. The practitioner worked patiently and faithfully for eleven weeks, calming my fears and explaining away my doubts; and this, together with the study of Science and Health and the help of my Science friend, resulted in my experiencing the new birth, so that "all things have become new." The growths have entirely disappeared and my own spiritual healing has continued and is daily going on.

I had been reading Science and Health but a few days, and had completely forgotten my old burden, when one day I heard the children remark among themselves, "Mama seems so happy these days, and she doesn't scold us any more." Was there ever a breath of freedom so free as that which I took when I heard those words! I sat motionless, dumb with amazement and awe, when I realized God's omnipotence and how the truth had made me free indeed. After all my vain struggling,—the fierce battles with self and the sickening defeats; the self-condemnation and misery, when I learned how to become as a little child, humble and teachable,—I entered into the kingdom of heaven, harmony here and now, and it seems that my cup overflows with joy and gladness. There were dark hours because of the antagonism of loved ones to what they believed Christian Science to be, but through it all I heard, "Lo, I am with you alway." I was enabled to trust till the waves were calm, and harmony, peace, and joy replaced discord and sorrow. Ah, patient, merciful Father!

In these four years the great Physician alone has ministered unto us. The children accept the truth naturally and are learning to go to God themselves in time of need. The simplicity and purity of their faith is often a rebuke and an inspiration to me. The Bible as explained in Science and Health has become my daily manna indeed, and every day I am thankful that there was one in this age pure enough and strong enough to draw back the dark curtain of materialism and show us God as Spirit and man as spiritual. She has ever pointed us away from personality to God.

I wish also to speak of how divine Love met my human need in yet another way. I had always done all my housework and always expected to, but I had only taken the first step toward Truth when, without any effort on my part, help was supplied, and Truth has enabled me to keep this same very efficient help nearly four years in perfect harmony, thereby giving me the necessary time for study. So, to tired, discouraged mothers I would say, Take heart. The great deliverer is here. Learn in Christian Science all about your Father-Mother God. He will give you rest and joy. At one time I could not have believed that life held such happiness, and the daily assurance of the possibility of attaining my ideal of motherhood, through which we glorify Him. This truth is indeed the "pearl of great price," and meets wonderfully a mother's need. I am truly thankful for all that led me to find it.

Margaret Wilson, Chesterton, Ind.

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