It was four hours before the first performance of my school’s musical, and I couldn’t find my bocal—a tiny part of the mouthpiece for an English Horn. There was no way I could play my instrument without it, and I began to panic. What if I couldn’t find it? What if I couldn’t perform? As these thoughts raced through my head, I felt myself becoming overwhelmed with shame and fear.
Truthfully, I didn’t turn to God for help right away like I realize in hindsight I should have. Instead, I frantically retraced my steps around the school. Frustration started to kick in, because it seemed like recently, forgetting things was becoming a pattern for me. I felt like I couldn’t think clearly because of feelings of self-condemnation, fear, and doubt.
God was my guide. Any right idea I needed would come from Him.
After about half an hour of searching, I went to my band instructor and another teacher and told them what was going on. Because I go to a school for Christian Scientists, they were supportive in helping me to begin thinking differently about the situation. One of my teachers encouraged me to check my dorm room and also affirmed very emphatically that I could never be without what I need—a statement based on the spiritual fact that every right idea comes from God. Since I knew it is impossible to be separate from God, who is infinte Spirit, then I also knew I could never be separated from anything good, including all I need to express joy and harmony, which were what this performance was all about.
At first, as I headed back to check my dorm room, I still felt discouraged. However, now I was at least praying, and as I did, I remembered a passage from Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy. It describes God as “the all-hearing and all-knowing Mind, to whom each need of man is always known and by whom it will be supplied” (p. 7). I realized that right in that moment, God truly was giving me everything I needed—including the insight and clarity necessary to find something that seemed to be lost.
As I arrived at the dorm, I had another shift in thought. Instead of feeling like I was responsible for finding something, I realized that God was my guide. Any right idea I needed would come from Him, not from me thinking hard or rushing around frantically. I thought of another passage from Science and Health that reinforced this idea: “The intercommunication is always from God to His idea, man” (p. 284). I felt new trust that God was communicating to me clearly.
I have felt a growing desire to feel close to God by listening for His messages more consistently.
Despite the fact I was convinced I had lost the bocal somewhere in the school building, a clear, bold thought came to me to check the dresser in my room. I knew this was a divine message, assuring me I had everything I needed, and I briskly looked where I had been directed. A wave of relief washed over me as I spotted the bocal. I felt such a rush of pure love and peace, and I immediately gave gratitude to God.
After this change in thought, all three of my performances went harmoniously. But something even more significant happened. Since this experience, I have felt a growing desire to understand and feel close to God by listening for His messages more consistently. This healing showed me that God’s help and communication are always available, and that we each have the ability to hear God—clearly.