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Deserving of love
Throughout my life, I have always valued relationships and put a lot of effort into making relationships work. So I felt blindsided when my boyfriend, who was moving on to college, decided that it would be best to split up. I was so angry that I made it a point to make sure he knew how I felt: unloved and unwanted. Soon, these feelings of animosity toward him began to translate into my other relationships. I found myself pushing away my loved ones because I felt that I was undeserving of their love and care.
One evening, I came home from school in tears. At first, my mom tried to comfort me, but I was so frustrated that I pushed her away once again and retreated to my room. As I lay on my bed, all I could think about was how much I hated my former boyfriend for not wanting to be with me. I kept thinking, “How can I be happy without him?” And, “What have I done to deserve this?” I blamed myself for the breakup, convinced I’d done something wrong, and that this was the real reason he’d broken up with me.
I kept thinking, “How could I be happy without him?”
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