Looking and longing for companionship?
Companionship is right here, right now, present, evident, manifest, revealed. I promise; I guarantee it; I warrantee it. Now, I realize that’s definitely a radical stand. You might be saying: “How is that possible? I’m certainly not seeing it in my life right now.” I can identify with that. I unquestionably needed a change of view of companionship, so I started with what the Bible tells us—that “God is love” (I John 4:16). If we learn that our very source is God, divine Love, then we can begin to understand that as God’s ideas, there is a spiritual basis to all relationships. Our one true relationship is to our Maker, our creator, God, divine Love itself, as God’s spiritual image and likeness.
God’s creation includes all right ideas, and all of God’s ideas are always in right relation to each other, harmoniously. And inspired relationships and interactions in our lives can come as a natural outcome of acknowledging and understanding our relationship to God and appreciating all that His creation includes. “All things work together for good to them that love God” (Romans 8:28). This points to God’s law of Love governing right, harmonious, beneficial relating.
Daily we can acknowledge this divine law governing right relating, and look for the expression of it in such everyday things as obeying traffic laws or simply being thoughtful and unselfish in holding the door for someone, or sharing a smile and a “hello” with complete strangers on the street. Because God is ever-present Love, the manifestation of Love’s loving must be present and evident in our experience. Any of us can begin to diligently persist in recognizing, acknowledging, and appreciating the consistent presence of the manifestation of Love, and in doing so, we can become more aware of love being expressed. I have proven this in my own experience, and you can too.
Feeling loneliness, loss, or lack comes from believing that we can be separate from God, good, divine Love. In truth, this is actually impossible since we are, as spiritual ideas, the very reflection of divine Love. Anyone who may have just gone through a breakup; or never had a relationship; or lost a spouse, a close friend, or even a pet may feel alienated from divine Love’s presence. But the spiritual fact is that as God’s children each of us is actually whole and complete, including all we need, right now. Despite how bleak our situation may feel, as we quietly open our thought to the truth of divine Love’s ever-presence and ever-active right relating, we can expect to see evidence of that in our daily lives.
After all, each of us as God’s child has been given dominion (see Genesis 1:26), and that includes freedom from the belief of lack or loss. God is constantly giving His creation all good. An embracing, comforting statement from Jeremiah says: “The Lord hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee” (31:3).
Those longing for companionship can find an encouraging and comforting statement on page 1 of the textbook of Christian Science, Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy: “Thoughts unspoken are not unknown to the divine Mind. Desire is prayer; and no loss can occur from trusting God with our desires, that they may be moulded and exalted before they take form in words and in deeds.”
Cherishing the desire for companionship—wanting to be able to share ideas and activities with another or others, and in some cases, desiring to be married—any of us might ask, “How can I possibly trust God with my desires?”
Inspired relationships and interactions in our lives can come as a natural outcome of acknowledging and understanding our relationship to God.
We’ve all probably seen and read about people looking for companionship in various ways. But trusting God with our desires means letting go of feeling that we need another person to make us happy or whole, and instead opening thought to all that God is revealing in our lives, opening up to divinely impelled relating already at hand.
Companionship can be manifested in many different ways—in family, friends, a boyfriend or girlfriend, a spouse, a pet, even complete strangers on airplanes or in subways—but it is never really outside the realm of one’s own thinking, one’s conscious expression of love, reflecting divine Love. Companionship comes in the most unexpected and delightful ways. And we see that genuine companioning includes unselfishness, thoughtfulness, kindness, patience.
At some point in my own search for companionship after having been married for 18 years and then divorced, I realized that life is not about “getting” love; you can only “give” love! This is such a profound, yet comforting, idea. It isn’t about getting, but only giving love and living love. This was definitely the turning point for me. I saw so clearly that as divine Love’s children, we all had to be the very expression of Love itself. Isn’t that an absolutely freeing thought? You can’t actually be without Love or outside of Love! You are undeniably the expression of Love; you are Love’s love loving. And each of us must strive to yield to living the unselfed love of Love.
Because it is both the nature and purpose of divine Love to embrace and enfold its beloved ideas in right relating, the outcome has to be the natural companioning and bringing together of individuals. Undeniably divine Love is an irresistible force. In God’s law of Love, which is Mind, right relating is inherently established and maintained by Mind, because, as it says in Science and Health, “Adhesion, cohesion, and attraction are properties of Mind” (p. 124).
In my own case, as I strove to just live love, to express and cherish those qualities that I would like to see evidenced in my experience, I became so absolutely, completely satisfied and fulfilled with the present companionship in my life. I was actively companioning with my fellow church members, neighbors, even complete strangers that I was consciously loving as I went down the street or shopped at the grocery store. And along with companioning with my dogs, I was even enjoying the “company” of squirrels, hummingbirds, deer, and other wildlife out my window or on walks.
I opened my thought to just live love, to express nothing but love. I wasn’t looking for love.
I felt as though I was truly living as the expression of Love’s loving. It was at that time that someone whom I had barely known years before happened to visit our church service. We renewed our acquaintance, and it developed into a deep friendship, ultimately leading us to get married. And all because I opened my thought to just live love, to express nothing but love. I wasn’t looking for love; I recognized that I lived in Love and was the very expression of that Love.
A few years later, this precious man passed on rather unexpectedly, but because I had never ceased to express love rather than trying to get love, very quickly the grief and sense of loss simply left. And once again a little over a year later, I met my dear husband-to-be. This relationship, like the previous one, has been so satisfying, fulfilling, and downright fun, because I am seeing myself as a complete spiritual idea of Love’s loving.
In my quest for a better understanding of companionship and relationship, it has been so comforting to me that Mrs. Eddy, the Discoverer and Founder of Christian Science, devoted an entire chapter to marriage in the textbook of Christian Science. Dissecting this delightful chapter is a great start to understanding what companionship means and how, as we begin to comprehend true companionship, we find we have never been without it, and the human manifestation is revealed to us.
In answer to the question, “What do you think of marriage?”Mrs. Eddy answered: “That it is often convenient, sometimes pleasant, and occasionally a love affair.… To be normal, it must be a union of the affections that tends to lift mortals higher” (Miscellaneous Writings 1883–1896, p. 52). Uplifting thought can be the outcome of inspired companionship.
Enriching companionship is really an active assurance of infinite Love’s consistent provision of present good, revealing itself to each of us as right ideas constantly relating harmoniously. So we can yield to Love’s provision and see that God-inspired companionship is indeed right here, right now, present, evident, manifest, revealed!