Trusting God brings comfort, resolves conflict

One night I woke up shortly after falling asleep. My dear wife had passed on recently, and I was feeling like a lost puppy. I turned on the light and began rereading that week’s Bible Lesson from the Christian Science Quarterly, which I found very helpful. 

Earlier, I had finished reading They Trusted God: Bible Stories Retold by Aylesa Forsee. I sensed that God was saying, “Trust Me as the Old Testament prophets did. You are never alone. My ever-present love fills every nook and cranny. ‘Draw nigh to [Me], and [I] will draw nigh to you’ (James 4:8). All will be well. I will give you purpose and direction. You can’t be lost. I am wrapping you in My love.”

I began regularly praying with verses from a hymn in the Christian Science Hymnal:

As the days and weeks passed, I could see that I was being lovingly guided, protected, and cared for at every turn. Friends and even strangers offered their help to meet needs as they arose. It meant so much to have God, the one Mind, telling me what I needed to know when I needed to know it. Along the way, there were many complex steps to be taken to settle my wife’s estate, including her interest in a company. I had a strong notion of how things should be worked out that would leave me a fair share, but when it became clear that it was not going to unfold that way, I was upset. 

Looking to God for comfort, I realized I needed to let go of self-will and trust divine Love. I had learned to turn to God in prayer in any situation and to pray with Jesus’ words, “Thy will be done” (Matthew 6:10). I also knew that outlining a desired result would limit my ability to experience God’s good in my life. When we rely on God’s disposal of events, the results are always much better than anything we could orchestrate for ourselves. 

As I was moving forward day by day, trusting God and rejoicing in gratitude for His many blessings, I kept Proverbs 3:5, 6 before my thought: “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” 

Late one night, as I was listening and praying, it came to me that I was trusting God for everything except this situation with the company. I knew I must let go of all self-will about it and wholeheartedly turn the matter over to God. I did so with a complete willingness to accept whatever unfolded, knowing that God’s will would bless everyone concerned. 

The outcome was not what I had outlined, but it allowed my wife’s portion to go to our daughter and then our grandson, seamlessly. This was a great relief, as my concern all along had been that our family would be left out of the settlement. This working out reminded me that trust in God has to be complete—no reservations and no self-will, whatever the situation.

William Jahn
Bowie, Maryland, US