My expectation of good was explained

On our first date, the woman who later became my wife asked me, out of the blue, “What do you think about God?” My answer was brief: “Not much!” 

I had been raised in a traditional Protestant church, and during high school had become disenchanted with what I was learning there. Later, while in college, I decided that after I finished school I would spend some time seriously considering my relationship with God. After doing so, I concluded that while the moral precepts espoused by my religion made sense, a God who created and allowed all the sin, disease, lack, unhappiness, and death that we see in our daily lives did not make sense and wasn’t who or what I needed to spend time with.

Following my response, my future wife explained that she was a Christian Scientist and that her religion was very important to her. I have to admit that a relationship with someone who had two teenaged boys and a dog and was not close to my age didn’t exactly fit my plans at the time. Also, she had a strange religion that seemed to contradict my very matter-oriented engineering training. But as she explained the concept of material existence as an incorrect understanding of a good God’s creation, I was intrigued enough to try to understand what she was talking about.

My family was traditional about medicine. My father and sister had used various medical treatments for asthma their entire lives. I appeared to have a somewhat less severe, undiagnosed version of this disease. Typically, I would have periods of difficulty in breathing, particularly at night, and I would use an inhaler with the medicine prescribed for my father to alleviate the symptoms. I also used aspirin frequently for headaches.

About a year after learning about Christian Science, but not yet having read its textbook, Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy, or attended a Christian Science church service, I awoke with an asthma attack. This time I decided not to use the inhaler but instead to think about what I had heard about Christian Science—particularly the idea that these experiences of suffering were not something that God could or would create. I sat in a chair, trying to hold to these thoughts, and eventually was able to go back to bed and sleep through the night. 

That gave me the confidence to continue to turn away from using traditional medicine to handle the attacks and instead rely on my new understanding of God. The attacks reoccurred occasionally, but I was generally able to handle them with the same simple prayer that had helped me before. Of course, I knew that at any time I could pick up the inhaler and alleviate the problem temporarily, but I also knew that a certain amount of persistence was involved if I wanted to make spiritual progress and gain a new, lasting understanding of God’s creation.

We were married about a year later, and I began attending church with the rest of my new family. I saw that when problems of any type occurred, my wife immediately turned to God, as taught in Christian Science, and the problems were resolved. I began to understand better the concept that health issues and other problems were not something that God had created or even knew about, and that this understanding was what resolved the issues.

It was on a camping trip, about three years after our marriage, that the asthma came to an end. I no longer carried the inhaler with me when traveling. Several years ago my wife recorded this healing as follows:

“Jim and I were on our way to Colorado. One night, Jim awakened not able to breathe. It seemed like an asthma attack. We were in the camper but not near a phone and could not call for help. I read Science and Health to him all night. He told me later that it was the worst attack he had ever had. But he did not ask to go to a doctor or hospital. In the morning, as soon as I could, I called a Christian Science practitioner. By that time he was much better. She prayed for him. He has never had an attack since, and that was four years ago. I am sure that he was healed that night.”

In addition, ever since high school, I’d had frequent headaches. The usual remedy was aspirin, a large bottle of which was always at hand. Somewhere in the period described previously, I decided that I should try to rely on Christian Science rather than that medication. I don’t know when it happened, but at some point I noticed that I was no longer having the headaches.

It has now been close to forty years, and there has been no recurrence of either of these problems. I had expected I would experience both of these all my life, based on what I’d been conditioned to believe. 

Following these experiences, I applied the rules of Christian Science when challenged by things that did not seem to fit with the concept of a creative, loving God. There were certainly successes, but in retrospect, I believe there was still uncertainty in my thinking. Two more healings that occurred twenty years later finally convinced me of the absolute truth of Christian Science (see “Skin conditions permanently healed,” Sentinel, August 24, 2009). 

I continually turn to these early experiences to reinforce in my thought the truth of Christian Science. As I consider them, two things seem to emerge. The first is that from a young age, I have had an expectation of good. This is something that I found little justification for in traditional theology but that is foundational to Christian Science—that God is good and created only good, and that the evidence of good’s opposite can be removed by that understanding. This concept supports a perpetual expectation of good. By God’s design, all of us have that inherent expectation of good. 

The second is that with little knowledge of Christian Science, I was willing to persist in my early attempts to find healing. With experience, confidence grows, but that persistence is still needed.

Notwithstanding my initial concerns (based on conventional, material thinking) about teenaged boys, a dog, an age difference, and a different view of God, a seemingly chance encounter has led to a lot of good in many lives, including those of my stepsons, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.