Absolute darkness lay before me as I approached the bridge on the country road. It seemed as if I’d driven into a black abyss. There was no reflection of anything ahead of me in the headlights—nothing I could see to indicate that the road kept going on the other side of the bridge. I just knew that it did.
I couldn’t help feeling that this drive over the bridge was a metaphor for my life at that moment. I was driving toward a place where I knew I’d be allowed to sleep for a few weeks. Adverse circumstances had left me with no money, no job, no home—just the car I was driving and a few belongings. I had no idea what lay ahead. But, as certainly as I knew the road continued on the other side of the bridge, I knew that God had a perfect road ahead for my life. I quietly slipped my hand into His with total trust.
The Bible has so many accounts of God-provided supply in the face of what seemed to be hopeless cases of lack. One is the story of Moses leading the children of Israel out of Egypt (see Exodus 12:37—17:7). When they came to the Red Sea, they seemed to lack a way forward. But God parted the sea for them. When there was no food, manna fell. When there was no water, God told Moses to strike a rock, which gushed plenty of water.
Yet, even with all this provision—all these signs that God was, indeed, taking care of His people—the children of Israel seemed to easily forget this the next time they came up against what they considered to be an impassable obstacle. After water came from a rock in Rephidim, the people still complained bitterly of no water when they were in the desert of Zin (see Numbers 20:1–11). So God again provided water from a rock; and God continued to care for them and lead them.
Mary Baker Eddy uses this biblical account of the Exodus to illustrate the mental journey that we take from fear and lack to a higher understanding of God’s unceasing care. In Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures she writes, “As the children of Israel were guided triumphantly through the Red Sea, the dark ebbing and flowing tides of human fear,—as they were led through the wilderness, walking wearily through the great desert of human hopes, and anticipating the promised joy,—so shall the spiritual idea guide all right desires in their passage from sense to Soul, from a material sense of existence to the spiritual, up to the glory prepared for them who love God” (p. 566). If we love God and desire to obey Him, we will find that our spiritual sense of existence actually does increase to replace the false material sense of reality we once clung to—and that this change manifests itself practically in our lives.
I knew that God had a perfect road ahead for my life. I quietly slipped my hand into His with total trust.
For several years prior to that night on the bridge, when taking care of finances each month, I had to face a pile of bills with paychecks that seemed woefully insufficient for paying them. Very fearful, I would leave my desk, pace the floor, and pray—often into the night. I would affirm that our all-loving God is already supplying every need for His children, and I would ask Him to help me see the truth of this in a way I could understand. After praying along these lines, I would feel calm and return to the desk to make decisions on what could wait and what couldn’t.
As each month progressed, ways would be found to pay the remaining bills. I was always grateful. But the next month I went through this all over again. Like the children of Israel when they became impressed with lack and forgot God’s unfailing care, I would be impressed with the small size of the paychecks, and I would let this replace my trust in what divine Love was providing. And so, every month I’d have to pray again to overcome the fearful sense of lack.
Sooner or later, we have to accept that it is impossible for an infinite God to run out of anything; and therefore, it is impossible for His infinite manifestation, man—His child—to lack anything needful. Supply is infinite and comes only from God—never from matter or any materially based concept. It’s only when we believe that supply comes from a material source that we experience lack. This spiritual truth of infinite supply was always in the back of my thought as I was praying to overcome the sense of lack that seemed to result from the small paychecks. This truth, together with the Bible accounts of spiritually demonstrated abundance and my own monthly demonstrations of supply, were what prepared me for the permanent revelation of abundant provision in my life—a revelation that came as I totally yielded my trust to God on that dark bridge.
It wasn’t until some years later that I looked back to realize that this particular night (now over 20 years ago) marked the end of my habitual concern about supply. At that time, I so humbly put my complete trust in God that I didn’t realize the magnitude of this or what it meant. With the paycheck and other materially based supports removed from my experience, I was no longer tempted to feel that my well-being and supply depended on anyone or anything but God. That night, when I put my hand in the Father’s, the fear of lack ended for good. My trust in God to meet my every need became much more consistent. An increasing sense of abundance began to fill my thought and my life.
Sooner or later, we have to accept that it is impossible for an infinite God to run out of anything.
Initially, I still didn’t have anything beyond what I had been driving down the road with. But, as something was needed, it came. I never doubted that it would. I was led in directions I never could have imagined, to a gradually increasing demonstration of abundance in my life. There was a return to school followed by a new career, a renewed and extended family life, loved homes, opportunities to serve others. Yes, I did eventually receive paychecks again—quite nice ones. But I no longer considered them to be the source of my supply. They were instead evidence of the infinite spiritual abundance I know I will always have from God, my dear Father who always provides for all.
I have learned that when we face lack in our lives, God’s abundance is already present to be revealed to us when we are ready to see it and claim it. Persistent prayer, faithful application of the teachings of Christian Science, and complete trust in our wonderful heavenly Father-Mother will lead us to the revelation of God’s present, infinite goodness and care—resulting in a sweet sense of abundance that tangibly blesses our lives.
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