A child's best advocate
Most Children have a pretty keen sense of what's fair and what isn't. That's a good thing. But indignant reaction usually doesn't solve injustice. So what do you do when your child claims to have been wronged?
One school year, my husband and I became wards to a young teenager who came to live with us. From day one, she reported tension with her social studies teacher. Apparently the teacher took an instant dislike to this new pupil, who only added to an already overcrowded, unruly class.
Things came to a head when this student handed in a project worth 75 percent of the course grade—but received no credit because of a minor infraction. "It's not fair. I'll flunk the course!" rang loud and clear at home. A parentteacher conference seemed necessary, and I was the logical representative.
It's been said that a parent is the best advocate for a child. My dictionary defines advocate as "one who pleads, defends, or maintains a cause or purpose." To be honest, I didn't feel ready to take on this role—at least not until I'd prayed.
Prayer always reorients my thoughts toward God. This time, it reminded me that God is actually the divine Parent of everyone. Regardless of age, position, or experience, we are all God's children. In the Bible, the book of Malachi puts it this way: "Have we not all one father? hath not one God created us?" (2:10 )
Our Father-Mother God is also infinite Love, the tender force that melts intransigence and mends relationships. And He/She is divine Principle, the eternal Lawgiver who ensures justice.
Spiritual reasoning helped me see true advocacy as actively defending and maintaining these facts mentally on behalf of both student and teacher—as pleading for everyone's spiritual status as sons and daughters of God. As I considered childhood to be each person's ongoing relation to God, my concern over unjust fallout from that personal clash ebbed away. And my young friend joined me in trying to see herself and her teacher as God did—as innocent of any fault.
At the meeting, this prayer paid big dividends. By then it was natural to feel an unbiased interest in what the teacher had to say, and a fearless unconcern at the outcome. This wasn't about a mortal teenager who needed defending or a mortal educator who needed correcting. It was about unerring and boundless grace coming to light in the spiritual children of one Parent.
As the pupil and I talked with the teacher, a genuine softening occurred on both sides. Humility and willingness to admit fault in one, brought forth kindness and mercy in the other. The interchange warmed into friendliness, and they reached a compromise. Best of all, these two very different individuals developed a mutual respect and affection that lasted all year.
According to a New Testament writer, "We have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous" (I John 2:1 ). While Jesus is no longer personally here, the Christ—the essence of what he exemplified—is. Mary Baker Eddy described it this way: "Christ is the true idea voicing good, the divine message from God to men speaking to the human consciousness" (Science and Health, p.332 ).
"Voicing good." The message of Christ—that good is actual—is strong assurance from our divine Parent. More than a set of suggestions for parenting, the Christ advocates for everyone by convincing them of their innate goodness. Adopting this Christly viewpoint dissolves injustice or any other wrong and replaces frustration with generosity and compassion.
In the heat of concerns within school and family, anyone can listen intently to the FatherMother's message of good and be certain that all His/Her children hear it—just as we did in our conference. This is advocacy at its best, both for our kids and for ourselves.
The Ransons continue to welcome others into their St. Louis, Missouri, home.
