Testimony of Healing March 31, 2003 Issue

Healing of a bad relationship

Tom Hundley

There was a guy in college with me who ripped on my behavior in front of peers. He verbally assailed me while others listened and stared. I began to feel stunned, bummed out, clueless. What the heck was I doing wrong? Did I really deserve to be treated this way?

It was like having someone pounding on my ego—giving me an attitude adjustment. I felt emotionally battered. It was hard to keep things in perspective. I found myself puzzled by the way he behaved. Actually, "puzzled" is a weak euphemism. I was seriously bothered. The sting of each of my run-ins with him left a fresh and distinct impression. Whenever I saw him, I was wary of another outburst. I simply didn't know how to let go of the feelings of insult and injury. This individual's facial expressions and body language only added to the impression I had that he pretty much despised me.

I tried troubleshooting and analyzing, looking for possible hints about what I might be doing to provoke him. To the best of my knowledge, I'd never done anything to him that could legitimately be considered an offense. He joked around and laughed it up with other people, but whenever I approached him to see if we could talk about it, he would go deadpan and silent.

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